A
female
age
36-40,
*ittle_laura0
writes:I've just started going out this guy i really like and we get on well with each other. we both have the same interests and enjoy each others company. the problem is, when things start going very well i start to push him away as i can feel my self getting closer to him.so far in the last couple of weeks, i've become jealous of other girls, accused him of lieing about working late when he's working, questioned him about taking drugs and talk about my ex's. He's been totally innocent in all cases and i have been totally in the wrong, which has been proven. i've been badly hurt by my past relationships and i'm scared of getting hurt again. i can tell so far he's a very decent guy and they're hard to find. i'm scared of loosing him and i think i'm starting too. is there any way i can stop my self from ruining the first good thing that's come my way in a long time?
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drugs, jealous, my ex Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 June 2008): Sister, you have to let go of the past. you can spend the rest of you life alone, but you will be right in your own self righteousness convictions. Or, you can let this pain and anger go, and fall truly in love with this man, who seems to truly love your company. He will only stick around so long, if he is always portrayed as the bad guy. You know, some guy are just awesome, and I pray that you found him. He sounds like a keeper.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 June 2008): Okay, you might not like what I am going to say, but it is to try and help you not to hurt you or insult you.
I have empathy with how you feel; as you mentioned you have been hurt before; this is causing fear in you; fear for getting hurt again; it is also obviousl that your trust have been abused in the past; thus you are having difficulty to believe and to trust;
Your reactions, the jealousy and all that is away of protraying your own insecurities;
I suggest, for this relationship to stand a chance to survive; also for any future relationships; basically for yourself to live a better life; get some professional help; a therapist or counsellor that can help you to overcome your "fear" and your insecurities;
Yes, you can try and work on it yourself, but if you can get help; it will be so much easier and effective.
You think or feel, you are not good enough or worthy?
If that is the case, work on your self esteem; believe me you deserve the best; when it is knocking on your door; like this guy now; accept it with both hands ....forget about the past and strech out towards the future.
Always remember, you are the best, and you deserve the best.
Believe the guy, trust him; unless he really gives you reason not to; stop being suspicious over every little thing; not all guys are are wrotten apples!
Work on your "issues" and enjoy this guy!
Good luck!
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A
female
reader, pepper27 +, writes (21 June 2008):
 Hi Hunny
You need to sort your self esteem out as Ive been through really bad past relationships and this is how I react because of the hurt and pain as soon as you get close to someone you push them away with alsorts of strange behaviour because you are scared....
http://www.womensselfesteem.com/index.html
I understand what your going through 100% hunny and I hope this link helps you, never think your not worth being loved just because someone else put you down so much its left you feeling unable to be close to someone I only no to well how this can affect you love you have got something good, Get strong and feel good about you and believe in yourself and you will come through this TAKE CARE WITH LOTS OF LOVE N HUGS MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
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