A
female
age
41-50,
*20sunrise
writes:okay so i don't really know where to start.. i have been going out with my boyfriend for 2 years and a few months. he can be a really jealous guy but he can't help it. recently my friend was kicked out and he had nowhere to stay so my family said he can live with us. he's taking that really hard and he's constantly asking me if i seen him that day or talked to him. he says he's going through a lot but its actually me too. i have to deal with him asking me that every second and him getting upset if i was talking to him. I'm one to be very against jealousy and wouldn't go out with someone if they were that bad. but i just don't do anything about it because he means so much to me. lately i've been extremely cranky and not myself.. i told him its because of our friend. but lately i was thinking.. maybe the way he's acting and everything that's going on is making me like him less? i don't want that to happen because i don't wanna throw all this into the drain.. we wanted to marry eachother and have kids together. Last night a bunch of us got together and we had a crazy night, we were all doing stuff that i wont mention on this website, but we were with my brother my boyfriend our friend that lives with us, his girlfriend and another one of our friends, were all really good friends. ill say his name is andrew so you wont get confused. andrew and his girlfriend sat there and talked about there relationship and sooo much more stuff that was so crazy to listen to. i think it might have changed the way my boyfriend sees him and maybe he wont be so crazy about him staying with us, he already told me lets just forget about the past and start over and i wont care if he's at your house. thats where i am at right now for this relationship, I'm so confused and i really don't know if its me liking him less or just stress that i've been going through... please give me some advice on how to get through this some how..i don't know if this made as much sense as i tried to make it, and sorry its so long
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 August 2010): hello.. i'm assuming that your bf is really protective of you and as you said he gets jealous... however, in my opinion maybe he felt that way when your guy friend moved in with you because, he may not have known "andrew" for that long or maybe he does not have a great connection between each other.. i guess personally to myself a guy would get jealous but not to an extent that it would break your relationship.. just remind him that nothing is going on and both of you must communicate and trust one another... in addition, may be he's jealous or he doesnt like how "andrew" socialise with girls.. maybe he's flirty... however, to me a normal relationship is not normal when couples never fight or argue.. maybe both of you guys are not expressin yourself openly and not communicating and really expressing what both of you feel.. you have yo put into consideration and critically think that " maybe he's acting like this coz of this guy... or maybe he's acting differently coz he is paranoid or just sensitive about me..." ... you have to ask urself those questions and then communicate with your bf and manage these questions politely..
there is also another point, if you think that he is so protective towards you or sensitive or you think that he doesnt trust you when your around with your guy friends you have to think for yourself and say do i treat him like that in return? am i sensitive towards him with him n girls?.. am i a jealous type... because if he treats you like that and you dont do the same thing.. that's unfair.. coz it'll look like he doenst trust you..
however in conclusion, i believe that it is all about communication and trust and if you think he treats you differently in how you treat him when it comes to jealousy and guys or girls, then maybe he just doesnt trust you coz it's unfair to you if he keeps on attackin you and if you dont balance it out and do the same thing...
you just have to express your emotion..
you said that when he saw "andrew " and his gf talking communicating he said that line... about forgettin about the past.. so im guessing you guys talked?... but what im assuming is that he may felt relieved that he does have a strong feeling towards his gf.. maybe ur bf realised that " oh what am i doing?? i shouldnt be so harsh on her.. look at this guy talking nicely to his gf they really have a bond" ... so maybe he felt more comfortable..
im sorry if it takes too long .. or if it doesnt help at all... but i really hope you will work it out.. and hope for the best :)
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