A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hello,My bf and I have been in a relationship for about two months. He has two children with someone else and they are still friends which is fine but @ times I feel he's still very involved with her life. She has a total of 6 kids and has been married about 2 years. He works for her, plays hockey with her,and goes to her house treats her kids as if their his own. I've been to their hockey games his ex was cold to me,and my boyfriend sat on the bench entertaining her 4 year old. He brings up her name a lot but not as much as he used to. Part of me feels he's not over her and I've asked him point blank if he was he swears he is BUT why do I feel like he's waiting in the wings for her? What do you think?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Anastasia  +, writes (30 September 2012):
 Hi, Women have been blessed with something called a sixth sense and I truly believe that our instincts are the alarm system for many things in this life that we have to deal with. I firmly believe that if after all the conversations, all the explanations and all the things that you have seen with your own eyes....you still get that niggling nagging feeling that something is wrong...it is. Never doubt your instincts.But I also believe that in a relationship, communication is the most important thing that holds it all together. And if you have openly and honestly fully shared your concerns with him and explained to him how his actions and focus on her make you feel...and he still hasn't rectified it....seeing that you are his current girlfriend....then you need to check yourself and your standing in his life and make a decision if you can tolerate being on a back burner to this lady and her family or that you KNOW that you deserve much better and move on.From what you have said, she seems very caught up in her life and her kids. He isn't obligated to do that and she has a husband from what I read. Why are you guys going to a sporting game for one of the kids? And she's cold to you because you are threatening her dependency on him. So....sit with him one more time, nicely tell him your concerns...let him know it makes you uncomfortable and doesn't give you a sense of priority or security in the relationship and ask him outright " what are you going to do about this"?.....and then follow your instinct. Ana
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