A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've been in a LDR few years now. I posted my question a couple of days ago, I got 1 answer which was very good but I would appreciate more answers. I am sad, I feel left behind and I can't think straight,My boyfriend and I live in two different countries. The first 2 years we spent lots of time together. I need about 2 hours flight to go and visit him. I am the one doing the travel, I don't mind it at all, he says he can't come see me, he needs a permision from the us army. The first 2 years we spent almost every other weekend together, in the 2 years after, we've spent only 1 SINGLE WEEKEND together, I still was fine with that keeping in mind how busy his schedule is. This year we haven't seen each other AT ALL. He used to call me more and he used to email me a lot more. He says he miss me and that he looks forward to see me SOON. But I don't know when soon is? Everybody around me finds me wrong to waste long years of my life waiting for him, keeping in touch with him and worrying about him if he sometimes doesn't email me 2 or 3 weeks. I LOVE HIM. I TRULY DO. The last couple of months have been very tough for me. I am suffering for not seeing him and for not being with him.I started doubting that he might not be as honest with me as I believe. He knows how much I love him and how devoted I am to him. He never tells me for how long we will stay apart? In the last few months he started emailing less but he asks me to email more, which I normally do. 4 days ago he replied to one of my emails after 12 days and he asked me again to email more !! I couldn't take this pressure anymore and I told him I am not ready to be an on-line pen pal. I haven't heard from him since then !! Is he upset?Can someone possibly be deployed to war 3 full years? and why some men make huge effort at the beginning of a relationship and then not anymore. Why he refuses to give an approximate time for when we'll see each other again?
View related questions:
different countries, long distance Reply to this Question |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2007): Thanks Baby duck for your reply. Saying good bye to my boyfriend is going to be the most difficult thing ever I have to go through. I really LOVE him. I'm afraid he is the love of my life. And somewhere deep inside I know that he loves me too. But I guess I don't have any other choice. You are right I am suffering and I don't want neither to judge him nor to judge myself. Maybe our relationship isn't meant to be. No ultimatum, no I wouldn't give him any ultimatum.I don't like them either.
A
female
reader, baby duck  + ♥, writes (7 December 2007):
 First of all, as a military veteran, I have to tell you that relationships within the military develop quickly and intensely. That's just the culture. It impacts relationships active duty people have with civilians.
Secondly, I think it's time for you to draw your boundaries. It's not that this man is doing anything right or wrong. You don't really know for sure, but your mind can torment you with it and you are suffering. So, you have to say to yourself, "What do I need from a relationship? Am I getting it from this one? If not, it is time to let it go." Do not give him ultimatums; it is controlling and just downright ugly. Let him know that you've done some soul searching and this relationship is not meeting your needs. Wish him all the best and say goodbye.
Either you have just let him off the hook with all of your dignity intact and he'll be blown away, but respect you ... or, he'll realize that he's been complacent and try to woo you back. I doubt the second will happen, but if it does ... I would not go rushing back for more of what you've already endured.
Just remember that we all love differently. Try not to judge him or yourself. The past is gone but as long as you learn lessons from it, than the present moment (which is ALL any of us truly have, right?) will be richer and your future, more promising.
Best wishes.
...............................
|
