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Is she using me to make her ex boyfriend jealous? Or am I over thinking?

Tagged as: Dating, Friends, The ex-factor<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (3 February 2011) 4 Answers - (Newest, 4 February 2011)
A male United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Am I over thinking this, or is their a reason for me feeling like she is using me?

This girl and I dated for about 2 years, over 1.5 years ago. She then dated a guy for 8 months, he was really outgoing and she got to experience a lot of things with him.

She got dumped by him, and she has not gotten over him, she has told me this. Well we have been 'friends' through this time, and during their relationship she was strict about me and her now ex bf meeting. She and I are going to spend this Saturday afternoon together, and then go to dinner with her friends (including her ex bf). I don't mind meeting the guy, but honestly she said "we could meet up with them if you are okay with that, but like we can go to dinner just the two of us, its up to you."

I am over this girl, she damaged my trust and well I can trust her as a friend, but it would be hard to trust her again as a girlfriend. I was wondering, am I being used to try and get her boyfriend back? Or am I just over thinking it a little? I know this guy is the jealous type.

View related questions: her ex, jealous

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (4 February 2011):

Look man, honestly speaking, she's using you to get her ex jealous. Although you said that you are over her, this is definitely going to hurt you a bit when it occurs. Trust me. Tell her that you want to be alone with her and study her reply and attitude. I'm guessing she'll just be like, " I just want to hang with my friends, I'm not going for him" but it's total B.S. My advice would be to just distant yourself from the entire situation. Let her go solo. You won't like the outcome if you get into this. I can almost guarantee it.

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A female reader, lynxy United States +, writes (3 February 2011):

lynxy agony auntwell, maybe you should tell her you want to be alone with her in dinner , I think you could be right and she's actually using you to me her ex bf jealous if she experienced so myny things with him , it's not so long since that and she has told you she hasn't gotten over him there is a high possibility that she just wants to make him jealous in order to get him back. if she gave you the chance to go you two alone, take it . otherwise you could be facing an uncomfortable situation.

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A male reader, Leodjoneluv United States +, writes (3 February 2011):

Leodjoneluv agony aunthey man dont even get involved with the ex boyfriend. I have never done anything with a girlfriends ex. that is senseless. Let the past be the past. You are a man and you should take control of the relationship. A man should not want to say anything to a girlfriends ex unless they have a child together. Take charge and tell her that you do not want to spend time around her ex. Thats messy of her man.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (3 February 2011):

i think you should just back off for some time. if she's hurt you before do you really need her as a friend?

there is the possibility that she is using you so i dont see why you ought to take that risk.

i think you should give her some space and stay friends but not too close. definatly not go out on dates nor out with her ex.

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