A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi guys. Wondering if you can help me on something that confused me as hell.The other day me and a few friends from work met up and went to a restaurant. While there I caught sight of one really sexy woman. She was a waitress at the restaurant we was at. I couldn't keep my eyes of her. The way she looked. The way she moved was awesome. She caught me looking at her and she smiled and said hi. Anyway when she came over to take our order I asked her when she finished work if I could talk with her. She agreed saying that it was her short shift and that she would be finished in an hour. When she finished her shift she came over to me and said she was finishing up. So I left my friends and me and her went across to another bar for a drink. We talked and everything was going really well. So I asked out for a movie whenever she was free next. She agreed and we exchanged phone numbers. She told me she was single and wasn't seeing anyone and I told her I was single as well. Yesterday I called her as I knew she wasn't at work just really to say hi and to thank her for her time the other night, and to see if she wanted to meet up. She told me she was busy (which I was cool about.) then she told me that she has been talking with her ex boyfriend and has decided that they are going to get back together so it would be better if I didn't contact her anymore. But she would say hi and talk to me if ever I come back into the restaurant. I just put the phone down because I got angry and confused because if she wanted to get back with her ex boyfriend why didn't she tell me that the other night rather than saying she was single and interested in going out with me. So now I'm confused. should I delete her number or see if she contacts me or is it that she has created this just to test me and she how I would react?...... At the moment I just dont know. All advice would be greatly recieved.
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female
reader, tennisstar88  +, writes (17 November 2010):
 Hmmm how much of a nice tip did you leave her? She may have just flirted for the big tip and free drink. I actually have friends who are waitresses and bartenders who use that tactic. Then again, it's possible it was bad timing and her ex beat you to the punch and asked to have her back that night. However, I believe it's the latter. Either this isn't a test, she's clearly not interested, if she was then she would meet up with you. Delete her number.
A
female
reader, happy24birthday +, writes (17 November 2010):
 Delete her number. This isn't a test.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (17 November 2010):
 I probably would just drop it. She may have been talking to her ex but wasn't back together with him, so technically she was single at the time. It may well be you just got caught in the timing window.
I guess telling a potential new date that you've got an ex hanging around the very first time you talk isn't really great dating strategy. I expect she was flattered by your interest and just wanted to see what you were like for a brief conversation. It was only one evening, after all.
Don't take it personally. Think about it this way, if she's telling the truth, she's now back with her ex. If she's lying to you, she's trying to give you the brush-off without hurting your feelings. If she's testing you, well, do you really want to be with a woman that plays those kinds of games? (I don't think this last option really sounds likely, though.) In any case, she's not going to go out with you, so just let it go. She's only cost you the price of one drink and some nice conversation time, she hasn't robbed you at gunpoint or told you you are a loser, right? So she hasn't committed a major crime. Maybe some poor timing management but not a convictable offense, I think.
Good luck.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2010): Well, maybe she didn't know she would be getting back together with her ex at the time. If she's told you not to contact her then i'd delete her number. Just be thankful that you didn't start dating before this happened.
If she was interested she wouldn't lie about getting together with an ex. You hardly know her anyway so just forget about it and move on.
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