A
male
 ,
*ecentguy1
writes:Hi,I'm 39 and my girl is 27. We both love each other, and have been together 5 years. She is starting to question things...she wonders why we don't talk deeply and where are we heading? (her brother who is younger just got engaged). She and her mom were talking so i'm sure it started her thinking. My question is this: Is she letting me know these things because she wants to move on, or is she genuinely looking for answers? we've split up before (she did it) but she came back 3 months later. We just had a great vacation in Jamaica, so it's not like there are any big problems. She said, "why is it hard, shouldn'ti just know?" and I said "of course, but any relationship that is over 5 years settles a bit... I don't want to get hurt, so I'm thinking if i should move on...help....
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male
reader, DV1 +, writes (24 May 2007):
 If you think that things are great, why move on. She was trying to give you a hint by asking questions. It means that she wants to have deep conversations, and she wants to know whether she is investing in a future. You need to tell her if you're looking to have a wife and kids. It doesn't sound like you're the one that's about to get hurt. It's a natural thing for people to wonder about the security and future of their relationships. If you love her, and want to spend your life with her, let her know, and let her know soon!
DV1
A
male
reader, Frank B Kermit  +, writes (24 May 2007):
 If I understand this correctly, is she saying that she does not know about you after 5 years?
My personal philosophy is that if after 5 years you both are not yet sure if you want to get serious, that is a sign that you should NEVER get serious.
I think her family is putting pressure on her, and they are right. Why delay the break up.
If you both do not know BY NOW, then it is a sign that you already know you should end it, but are both afraid to be uncomfortable and lonely.
Move on for both your sakes.
-FBK
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A
male
reader, davie  +, writes (24 May 2007):
Wake up! You have said it yourself -- her "younger" brother just got engaged and here she is older and not engaged or married -- HINT HINT!!!
Maybe if you love her and want to spent the rest of your life with her you should commit and ask her to marry you.
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