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Is she just using me for attention?

Tagged as: The ex-factor<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (13 April 2014) 2 Answers - (Newest, 14 April 2014)
A male age 26-29, anonymous writes:

So me and this girl have a history in that we tried going out but she decided it wasn't working, that's was about five months ago.. anyway she moved on very quickly. We were good friends before and we still kind of are. But in the last months I really didn't talk to her or anything and felt a lot better. However, recently she has been talking and texting me a lot. She's also been telling me I can never leave her etc. My mind starts thinking she wants to give it another go. But our mutual friend have told me he thinks shes just using me for attention, as it isn't working with the guy she's currently seeing.

Am I just being used as a safety net for when she needs some attention?

We're going to the cinema and a meal in a week, so should I talk to her about it?

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A female reader, xTheAlmightyDuckx United Kingdom +, writes (14 April 2014):

xTheAlmightyDuckx agony auntWait a second, is she seeing someone at this moment in time?

However she is still talking to you and you have planned to go on a meal together?

I think this could end up going down the wrong path and potentially ending up bad, you could get in trouble with the other guy shes seeing.

Maybe on this kind of date you've got planned you should sit her down and tell her if you have any feelings for her, you should also ask if she has the same feelings for you.

If she says yes then you should tell her your not willing to continue anything until she has told the other guy she no longer wants to him and if she says no, you should just stop talking to her all together as that is a big sign she is just using you as a safety net.

Good Luck x

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A female reader, Tisha-1 United States +, writes (14 April 2014):

Tisha-1 agony auntI would simply challenge her when she says things like 'you can never leave me.'

'What do you mean, Leeane? I can never leave you how? Like as in a friend? Or as in a boyfriend? What exactly does that mean?'

Wait and listen.

'Do you remember when we tried going out and you decided it didn't work for you? What exactly has changed?'

Just keep asking open-ended questions getting her to explain herself and she'll eventually give you the real answer.

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