A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:okay, so, i need advice on what to do with my "best friend".i am a thirteen year old girl. we have been best friends for about three years now, but have know each other since kindergarden. we are both now in 8th grade, and are falling apart. we've always had are differences, but have always been able to work it out. not trying to offend anyone, just saying, that i am Jewish and she is a major Christian. i know that this bothers us both sometimes, because i know that if i wasn't Jewish, she would try to make me as religious as her. But recently, i feel as if she doesn't like me anymore. I ask her if she is mad, and she always says no. But lately she has been converting some of our close friends, and been taking them to church with her. She is ignoring me, and hurting me deeply. I don't know if our problem is because of our religious differences, or because we are just growing apart. Please help, i don't want to loser her. Not yet.
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male
reader, rcn +, writes (11 December 2010):
 I believe you could be right. You can be friends with someone of a different faith. Just don't try to expect them to religiously accept the others as being something they would believe in. It would also be okay for you to go to church with her and her with you, just to gain understanding into each others beliefs. You don't have to accept them, but to have knowledge is not having to take them on as your own. Christianity is something she is into, just as being Jewish is part of who you are. If you played basketball and she played volleyball, wouldn't you attend each others games for support? It's not changing your faith, but showing interest in the differences that you two share.
Friendships are important, and should transcend religious or other beliefs. Look at your friends, you like them because of their differences, not because they are like you. It's the same in interpersonal relationships. Someone I heard once said, "do you want to yourself every morning." As if we'd choose someone who mirrored who we are. We enjoy the company of others because of the differences they bring. Don't see your friendship or differences as being religious, enjoy each other for what each of you brings that gives reason to why you became friends to begin with.
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