A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I met a new girlfriend about a year ago. She is coming out of a bad marriage. She went through a bad time including financially during which I was supportive, but lately she has re-established her career and is doing well. During this time there was always some romantic undercurrent and sometimes she would come over and we would talk until 5 or 6am although we have never been physical. She was abused by her father and she says that comes slow for her so I am sensitive to that.Lately, even as I felt that we were drawing closer I also feel like sometimes I am getting the cold shoulder. Conversations are short and focus more on facts instead of feelings. The last few times we spoke on the phone our conversations were very stilted and short with long periods of silence instead of the long, flowing conversations I am used to. I don't know whether I should ask my friend if she is distracted or what. I am not sure what I should say that would be appropriate. I don't want to seem needy, but at the same time I feel like she is pulling away and I am curious if she's just bored with me or if there is something else going on. I would not say I have committed to her in any way, but I also feel bad if I talk to other women in a flirty or romantic way at this point so I want to know how serious she really is. How do I know if she is just playing games?
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female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (3 September 2014):
 I don't think she is playing games, I think she doesn't know WHAT the HAY she wants. Which is why she is blowing hot and cold.
My guess is, she IS NOT ready for a new relationship and she has sensed that you have changed from being a friend to being a "friend who is interested in her". So If she isn't ready to date, and she KNOWS you are keen on her, she might feel a little awkward mostly because she doesn't want to hurt your feelings.
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