A
female
age
30-35,
*unnyAce
writes:When I first started dating my current boyfriend (for a year and a half) my mom had originally said that she was glad that she was not attracted to him because there have been 'bad situations' when mom's find their daughter's boyfriend attractive. My boyfriend has gained 30 lbs of muscle since we started out and is looking perfect. But now i feel like my mom is trying to get him to notice her (she's being overly kind, cooking him food, wearing tight clothes, etc). She even mentioned something about him being very handsome. What should I do about this? Am I over reacting? Is she just being kind?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2010): I tend to trust people's intuitions about things that could very well be possible yet are very taboo. It is not common for a girl to suspect this kind of behavior from their own mother. The fact that it is out of the ordinary and taboo might get others saying, "oh you're being silly, ridiculous, a mother would never do that." Truth is everybody is different. Every parent is different. Every household has its own level of dysfunction. Nothing is black and white and anything is possible. The fact that you are getting this intuition about her is definitely something not to be ignored. Like I said, intuitions should not be ignored or minimised. And I might add, that comment that she made definitely puts up a red flag. I don't think that is something a parent with good intentions would say, much less even think.
I don't know if there is much you can do, especially if you are living under her roof. Keep going with your gut and if it would make you feel more comfortable, then don't have your boyfriend come around as often, if at all. You don't have to explain to him why. If he asks tell him a little fib. You shouldn't have to feel this way in the "comfort" of your own home. So if you can avoid the situation by all means do. And I'm sorry you are going through this.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2010): is she attractive enough for her to steal him? that's the question. if not don't worry. i'm no expert, but I agree with curiousity. Hell, even when I'm around girls that are good looking, I may not want to have sex with them or even be massively attracted, but I'd like to look good. Maybe it is a bit of ego, but everyone has it. Chill!
All the best
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (16 November 2010):
 I'm rather wary of her first comment..and not to mention her change in attitude and appearance with this new hot bod he's sporting. Then again, it could be nothing. She could be having a little mid life crisis or she's turning into a cougar.
When was the last time she had a boyfriend?
Just have a word with her, tell her you notice her being a little off on her behavior lately since your boyfriend has beefed up. If she has a logical explanation then problem solved. However, if she carries on then I would call her out on it..she may not realize she's behaving like a school girl.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2010): She may well be finding him attractive now and making it obvious with the cooking, wearing tight clothes and mentioning that she finds him very handsome. I dont think you are over reacting. I think your mum is though!
It might be an idea to not have him to your home quite so much. Maybe met him out or spend more time at his home
Have a word with your mother if she is really starting to make it obvious that she has a fancy for him.
Remind her of her words when she first met him, that it was a good thing she didnt find him attractive...because it led to bad situations. Ask her if there will be one with her soon, because youve noticed the change in her. The fact that she even said that to you in the first place rings a warning bell. Its not really the sort of thing most mothers would say to their daughters x
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