A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have been married for nearly two years and practically have no sex life to speak of, we are lucky to do it once ever 2-3 months. Is our marriage in trouble? or is this the norm...?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2008): Men can't read others mind, as Laura stated, communicate your needs and learn/understand his needs.
I think many of us have a sterotype of what marriage means: they had their parents as role models.
If it is bad now, it will get worse when you have children unless you both start talking about it and agreeing what you will do, how it will be handled.
I as a man feel overwhelmed with everything else going on. If I have to always initiate sex, or look for signals that may not be there from my wife, I will become less interested. This is bad though, this is piling on of negative emotions, and eventually, as in her, will blow up one day where the other is caught off guard wondering what happened.
Talk! Talk! Talk!
You both courted in the beginnng, learning a little about each other, you can't stop now or ever. Keep in touch and keep connected!
A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (23 April 2008):
 Do you always let him initiate the sex ?
Maybe, you need to communicate with him and tell him your
needs and try to understand what is his problems.
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A
male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (23 April 2008):
 Hi,
nope it's not the norm. There is no real true indicator of how many times a week/month a couple should have sex.
But once every 2/3 months certainly isnt it.
Is everything else in the relationshi fine? Is your husband overly stressed? These could be factors.
Another factor could be that sex has become routine. This is a harder one to face as you have to own up to the fact that maybe things are quite spicy enough in the bedroom.
The solution to this is of course to try and spice things up. Welcome him home in lingerie one night, buy some toys, videos etc.
You havent really indicated what it could be, so we can only guess.
Maybe some more info will help the aunts get to the root of the problem.
Good luck.
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