A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello there everyone :)I have this wonderful best friend that i will be referring to as X. X an i have been best friends for over 4 years now. now what happened recently is that we were supposed to go out a couple of days ago on an outing with this other guy friend that we have known for a while and he is kinda close to us too. basically something came up and on the day before the outing so i "texted her" telling her that i cant make it cause i have work to do. so 2 days later i call her and she was like " im pretty mad at you " when i asked her about why, she said that the least i could do was to call her "in person" and tell her that i cant make it. also she said that i should have called right after the outing to check up on her and see how she was doing (whether she had fun or not), but i didn't think it would be such a fuss; this is the first time something like this has ever happened too. my question here is: is she making a big deal out of this? its not a big issue.. she told me that she will cool off in a day or two but im really confused here... where did i go wrong?!thank you for taking the time to read this
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (11 January 2014):
 Yeah well, you were supposed to CALL and apologize for the sudden change of plans, not just to cancel by text.
Although, in a world that by now uses texting for anything : cultivating friendships, arguing, dating, courting, flirting, having sex-( I wonder why they haven't figured out also how to get pregnant by text only ) it's hardly surprising that the OP feels she did not do anything wrong, in fact it is surpring that her friend got annoyed and felt free to say it.
As for the follow up call, though, no I don't think it was mandatory. Perhaps it would have been nice if you had thought of it, but your friend can't really expect it or demand it, she is not a child that needs to be checked up on, and knowing how her outing had been wasn't such a pressing issue that could not be discussed at a later date ,like the first time you were seeing each other. So I think that she is a bit forcing the issue here, just because she is a little mad at you.
No big deal , all in all, as you already imagine. Give her time to cool off, and next time a) try to not blow her off b) if you really have to, then call her or tell in person- with a decent notice.
A
female
reader, PRETTY KITTEN  +, writes (11 January 2014):
omg i think she might have feelings for u if she dont have a boyfriend.well try to talk to her she probably wants to be with u. ask her about it;)
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (11 January 2014):
 I agree with your friend, if you cancel or change plans you have the decency to CALL, not text.
I would give her that 2 days to cool off and then CALL her and apologize, tell her NEXT time you have to cancel you will CALL and do so.
Then ask her how the outing went.
Could also be that she felt like your cancelling made it look like that was the plan all along so SHE could be "alone" with that guy friend? I can understand if that made her feel weird.
Now you know. To cancel or reschedule, do it in person or in a phone call.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2014): Give her a day or two to cool off.
Don't make a fuss of it.
You should notify people either in-person, or by phone call; if cancelling a date or event on short-notice. It's more personal.
You don't have to follow-up to find out if things went well.
It's nice to call and apologize that you had to cancel on short-notice. You can politely ask how things went.
The end.
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