A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:What is my ex thinking? I broke up with my ex a year ago, then just emailed him a few days ago (after I had changed my number and email since he was harassing me). I asked if he was sorry for how he treated me (I broke up with him because he was emotionally abusive). He apologized for one thing directly, but said we both made mistakes. When I asked what else he was sorry for and what mistakes I made, he just gave me his number saying it would be easier to call him. It pisses me off that he can't identify exactly what it is he is sorry for. So, I haven't called, until he answers my question, because if he hasn't changed-which I think might be the case, I don't want to get caught up in an abusive relationship with him again. In the first email he emailed me a few days ago in response to mine, he said he thinks about all the mistakes he made and how he wish he could go back and make it right, and said he keeps my picture in his car and my ring (we were engaged) on him, and that he always cared and still does. My question is, what is he really thinking? Is he just waiting for me to call, being manipulative so he can weasel his way back into my life again? Or, since I haven't gotten an email from him since yesterday, is he just losing interest because I emailed him after so much time just to get closure?
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female
reader, howcomehoney  +, writes (9 October 2008):
 Why did you email him? What made you decide to pick up the contact again? By asking him the questions that you're asking, you are the one who is putting yourself back into the same old situation. You are trying to rehash all the problems you had when you were together, when these problems are now all irrelevant, because the relationship is in the past. Let sleeping dogs lie and don't contact him unless you actually want to start everything up again. You are the one putting yourself back into his life, not the other way around.
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