A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I don't know, I have quite a weird feeling that things are not going well with my boyfriend. We've been together just over four months. Firstly, he's always at work and is always so tired when he gets back that we can't really do anything (he is a doctor so his hours are very demanding any way). I try and accommodate this situation by offering more time, but when I do he'll go out drinking after work, and will be slightly tipsy/drunk when I meet him, which isn't very much fun cos I'm not a big drinker and also he's kind of annoying when he drinks. Also, the other day I recently saw an explicit text message on his phone which he deleted immediately, I asked him what it was and he said some guy he'd met off a site that kept sending him them, I told him why he doesn't he tell the guy to stop and he said he never responded. I told my other gay friend, and he said maybe it was a former friend with benefits that didn't know he was in a relationship quite innocently/drunkenly texting him. But I've been with him for four months so it doesn't seem plausable. I confronted him about it immediately and he looked me straight into the eyes and said he's not seeing anyone else, it's just me and him. He thinks maybe the way my boyfriend deleted it immediately was done out of tact, whereas I suspect it was out guilt/fear of being found out. In addition to this, he'll always tell me how attractive he thinks guys he meets/works with are and then backtrack and change his story and tell me how great looking I am (but I think he is just trying to keep me sweet). I also am convinced he is checking out guys when we are out, he denies it. But I just don't feel convinced. What's making me question my feelings are that generally he's a very honest guy, but lately something is different. Am I blowing things out of proportion or is something wrong? What is a rational cool way to deal with this? Part of me says couples go through phases of less passion after the initial period, and things blow over, so maybe not to make a big deal of it.
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at work, friend with benefits, period, text Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 June 2009): He saw me standing with a guy who has interest in me
A
female
reader, crimson_kiss  +, writes (20 April 2009):
 Just by the sound of things I would be suspicious as well. Have you asked if he might be BI sexual? He very well could be and doesn't know how to say.
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