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Is it wrong that I miss my FWB guy?

Tagged as: Breaking up<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (10 December 2010) 4 Answers - (Newest, 10 December 2010)
A female United States age 22-25, anonymous writes:

Hey I want/need advice

Ok sooo I was friends with this guy then we started havin sex. We were not in a relationship and This went on for 8 months. So I was attached to him he was my second. Sooo things ended by me findind out that he took my cousin out on like a date. But my cousin didn't know I was having sex wit him and he didn't kn she was my cousin. Sooo went I found out I was hurt and also mad. So I called him and went off on him he was also mad @ me becuz I made him mad 2 days be4 I called him. So I hung up on him and we never talked again. But his real close friend calls me and also text me. But me and his friend are just friends, even tho he tried to get with me. But my question is, is it so wrong that I miss him sometimes? I don't call or text him and its been almost 5 months. He's away for college but I do miss him sometimes. Me and him acted like a couple but we were not a one. I just wish he would call me sometimes but the other times I wanna hate him. To me I felt like he picked her over me. He even called her again even on my bday which was 4 days after I hung up on him. Even tho he asked me plenty of times what is our relationship status and I would say sex buddies. But my bestfriends make it seems like its a horrible thing if I say I miss him. When they go back to guys who do them so wrong. Its not like I'm blowing up his phone, I just said I miss him. He was there for me and I was there for him. And the 1st guy who took my virginity means nothin to me but the second means somethin to me. So backwards. But am I so wrong that I miss him sometimes? I try to forgot him but since I don't go no where but to work or the movies or out to eat. But when I'm home and I try to relax I think of him. And my bestfriends are either talking about new guys they meet or the old ones. I just don't know. But thanks for reading. I'm sorry if its soo long :)

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A reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2010):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thanks for your comments!!

And during those 8 months I was talking to another guy but I just didn't work out. And he did know about it. I feel if I had somebody eles I wouldn't miss him. Like a week ago I was liking this other guy but to me he wanted me to chase him and I guess I'm not use to that, but when me and the guy was talking I didn't not once think about me FWB! I was good. But now since me and the guy don't really talk, I think about him sometimes. Now since I have no guys to talk too, I just feel pretty which is not good but that's just how I am. I know I'm very pretty but I do want to hear it from a guy. I may not even meet a guy, its hard for me. I really don't go anywhere. No car. Friends, I'm not to close with a lot of girls too much drama. But their trying to get a car themselves but they have guys I don't.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2010):

I totaly feel you. Im in the same age range as you and I just broke up wth my fwb yesterday and i miss him already! We have been together for abt 10mnths and we did pretty much everything like a couple though we told each other we're just sex buddies. He's also the 2nd guy i had sex with, and i dont have feelings for the 1st guy had sex with either. Anyway, yesterday things got kinda bad coz i received a phone call from a friend of mine he's jealous of, then he also received a call from a girl, and they were telling each other 'i love you' and stuff so i got angry too and we fought and told each other its over. What im trying to say is that maybe its not possible to have a fwb without any strings attached coz feelings do develop and things get complicated. Its normal to miss him. If you think you guys' relationship is not healthy or you think its logical to move on then try to forget him but there's nothing wrong with you. A weakness with this kind of thing is that a fwb is not the kinda guy you imagined to have, and you dont mind in the beginning coz its just a simple arrangement, but once your feelings get deeper you end up compromising the qualities of your ideal guy since your fwb doesnt have them. He usually isnt cute, or he's sb you're related to, or whatever but somehow he's someone you wouldn't really think of dating in other circumstances. So, goodluck and dont worry, you're not in a bad situation.

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A male reader, soon567 United States +, writes (10 December 2010):

Its ok and i follow you. You wanted more than his penis, yet you were a walking sex doll to him. Your cousin probably had a better chance with him because you fuck your chance away. You will never get a guy with your vagina because it just want work that way. Once you introduce sex into a relationship before its matures than you whole relationship will center around it. You need to find a new guy because he’s not coming back unless you promise him sex without strings. he may not even want that anymore.

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A female reader, CindyCares Italy + , writes (10 December 2010):

CindyCares agony aunt It's not wrong as in morally wrong, in fact is very natural. You got emotionally attached to the guy, he meant something to you, and now you miss him. Only , missing him is not very smart- better doing your upmost to forget and move on.

That goes to show how FWB things are basically umanageable.

Technically, he has done nothing wrong . You were sex buddies- so not exclusive by definition. If he wanted to date other girls he could, same if you had wanted to date other guys. The problem is that you did not want to date other guys because you had feelings for him, while he wanted to date other girls because for him it was really just sexual fun. When it's like this, it can't possibly work and if it had not been your cousin it would have been some other girl.

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