A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My husband and i have been fighting for a while now. Making up and breaking up. Not litterally him leaving but him saying he wants to and saying ugly things, me thinking it was the end several times. So we fight and we make up and we fight the next day and it just the same pattern over and over again. Honestly i feel it is time to end things...its not a healthy relationship in many ways. Here is my question. I rarely see my family as they live across the state. We have plans to go for Thanksgiving this year. I am biting my tounge, kissing his butt, really doing whatever it takes to not fight. The reason i am doing this is because i REALLY want to see my family. If we continue to fight and argue or even end it (which is where this is headed)he wont go with me, he wont let me go with our son. So i am being nice, not expressing my feelings about our relationship, not fighting, simply just shutting my mouth to be able to go to my family. I feel this is wrong, but its the only way to get to see my family, some who i have not seen in like 3-4 years. Am i wrong for doing this? I dont know what will happen afterwards, i dont know what I will do. Am i wrong doing this?
View related questions:
kissing Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (11 November 2010):
I would strongly urge you to speak with a lawyer about this, and look at divorce. Seriously. This is psychological abuse, and it's not acceptable. He is using your son against you as a weapon, and I think that says all you need to know about him. This man is abusing you, and your son by using him as a pawn. Speak to a lawyer and find out where you stand. You need to get away from this guy.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2010): He can't control you and tell you where you can / can't go. I'm not sure about the kid though. I guess I would do that then deal with all your problems after the holidays.
...............................
A
female
reader, isla77 +, writes (11 November 2010):
I can understand where you are coming from. Keeping the peace and holding your tongue is never easy. You already say you know your relationship is very rocky and unhealthy. You don't mention your sons age or why he cant go with you so I would do exactly as you are doing until you get past Thanksgiving.
You may then have to speak to your husband about counselling or admit your marriage may well be finished.
Please don't stay in a relationship where your husband says ugly things to you. Thats not a loving relationship and through time it will start wearing you down, you will lose self esteem.
I wish you all the best and hope your Thanksgiving goes well. From a 46 yr old female
...............................
|
