A
female
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anonymous
writes:Is it wrong for me to tell my boyfriend that I don't think it's right him accepting phone numbers of other women? I have found a couple phone numbers and I wasn't too happy about it. I don't think it's appropriate that he accepts these since he is in a relationship. Am I crazy or am I right? Please let me know. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, birdynumnums  +, writes (14 March 2007):
 I have a 25 year old son who is really great looking and gets hit on constantly. It is a real problem for his girlfriends. One very smart one used to laugh and walk away when it happened. She was forcing him to confront the situation and give her respect. By not turning them down, walking away or telling them "Did you happen to notice - This is my girlfriend!" - he was disrespecting her and she forced him to deal with it. He soon learned. You have every reason to be pissed off. Do you accept phone numbers from guys? I'll bet the shoe would be on the other foot if he found a bunch of numbers in your pocket - he'd probably call you a slut and a whore. You can't have your cake and eat it too - so Put your foot down! I'd check his pockets regularly from now on and duct tape the next one to his forehead, just before you walk out the door and get on with your life. You deserve better! Good Luck Sweetie!
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female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (13 March 2007):
 Hi sweetness,
I think it's perfectly okay for you to ask him not to accept these numbers... or at least not hold on to them! I don't know your boyfriend. Perhaps he's only accepting numbers from aggressive women to be polite, but I think you can definitely bring it up and ask him "why" does he accept the numbers?
Again, I don't know your boyfriend so I can't say whether or not he's abusive. I wouldn't have jumped to that conclusion... however, if you feel like you might be in an abusive situation - get out. Perhaps your man is just weak-willed. I know I've certainly had men come up to me and give me a business card with their number on it. I usually just say, "uh, thanks." and walk away. I never call them. Ever. But sometimes I forget about the business card in my pocket and it sits there for awhile.
Ask your boyfriend why he holds on to these numbers. Ask him how he gets them and why doesn't he tell these women he's in a relationship? If he gives you a little too much BS, it might be time to boot him to the curb.
xxIndia
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you so much for your advice, everyone! I desperately need to hear this stuff. When something like this happens, he accuses me of snooping, which I did nothing of the sort, they were in plain view. He had explained that he was going to give these numbers to his friend, I told him next time, do NOT accpet the number NO MATTER WHAT! I did my part, now I can wait and see if he does his own part. I'm actually starting to wonder if he's just one of those guys telling me exactly what I want to hear and not the truth......kinda sad actually....
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2007): He will cheat on you its only a matter of time. He is being very obvious, apparently trying to do a number on your head. If you have any self-respect left leave while you still do.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2007): No, he wants to make you believe you are crazy...it's an abusive trait this way he has control over you and he gets to do whatever he wants.
This already shows he has little regard for you and your opinion and that you are not his equal which means...no point in staying.
He puts your integrity, mental state in mind, says you are overreacting, you aren't thinking clearly enough, it's not so seroius-which equates to him telling you your opinions and expectations don't matter.
Ouch.
Is this something you are willing to accept? Is this what love is? Does this quality or trait make you happy? Feel safe? Loved? Valued?
If it doesn't and he won't change...end it. Find someone who is more intune with what you want and need and find someone who wants to make you happy and treats you with love and respect and values your opinion and has your consideration in mind.
Best Wishes.
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A
female
reader, aunty t  +, writes (13 March 2007):
 You are so right. I would not like it if my partner had other girls numbers in his pocket. And why is he keeping the number if i was in a relationship and a guy gave me his number i would rip it up and put it in the bin. Set him straight on this if he continues hes not serious about you are your relationship
Good luck
Aunty t
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A
female
reader, kelpel +, writes (13 March 2007):
you are right. I would not be happy if my boyfriend had accepted numbers from other women! hes with you now so why would he need other womens numbers anyway - and i'd question that too. stand up for yourself girl!! :) xxx
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