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Is it worthwhile staying with him or should I break it off?

Tagged as: Breaking up, Dating, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (24 August 2009) 1 Answers - (Newest, 24 August 2009)
A female United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

I have been dating this guy for about 9 months. We have broken up once but quickly got back together. When we first started dating, he seemed like he had his life somewhat together. He had a good paying job, an apartment, and he was able to take me out every once in a while.

After a few months, he lost his job and started working for some friends at a pizza place whenever they needed him. He was going to move to a different house, but it fell through, after he had already moved out of his apartment. So now he sleeps at my house or his friends house and I tend to cook him dinner a lot.

I am currently trying very hard to get somewhere in my life. He claims to be "a 40 year old trapped in a 20 year old body", but he never seems to act his age. He sleeps all day and then will hang out with friends or sometimes catch a shift at work at night. I don't understand where his money goes, because he never has any money to take me out. But he always seems to have money for cigs or gas to pick up his friends.

I don't want to seem shallow, and I know that he cares about me. But I can't be the person to sit home every night and has to provide for my boyfriend. I know that I love him, but I feel very cold and empty inside. I don't know if it is worth it to try and stay with him, or just find someone else.

I am also afraid that I will regret breaking up with him and it will be too late to get back together with him. But I am afraid that if I dont break up with him, I will remain unhappy for who knows how long.

I know that I am the only one that can make the decision, but some advice would be very helpful.

View related questions: at work, get back together, got back together, lost his job, money, moved out, trapped

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A female reader, sunnycomet Canada +, writes (24 August 2009):

sunnycomet agony auntIf you are unhappy then you shouldn't stay with him. You need to gently tell him it is over and let him go.

Once you have healed you can enjoy life and get somewhere with it. You can't be his mother and take care of him, that's not how a healthy relationship is. Maybe by doing this you will help him to grow up.

Good Luck and I hope you will be happy soon!

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