A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Is it worth trying to analyze a break-up? I literally just broke up with my boyfriend 2 hours ago and I know he and I won't be talking, seeing or emailing each other ever again. I don't understand what went wrong and why it all ended when we both care about each other. His feelings were more advanced than mine, and today he even told me I was "the one" for him and he's in love with me but that he's frustrated that I don't feel that way about him. I know it's completely over and that I will never hear from him again. But I am sad. I don't know what to do. I feel like I need to talk to someone like a therapist is there a point since it is over.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 June 2009): You can go back and analyze if there were any signs leading to this breakup. sometimes it just isnt worth the time
A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (2 June 2009):
 Analyzing a break-up makes a hell of a lot of sense, because that is the only way you can learn from it and make sense of what you were feeling and why you were acting like you did.
I'm sorry to disagree with one aunt. I wouldn't bet on his returning to your side. If he got to the point of breaking up, I am sure he agonized over and over again over what he perceived as lack of interest. This might be the point when he just thinks he just has to find himself another interest. I don't think this is the first time he complained, was it? Maybe here's one lesson to learn?
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A
female
reader, Anastasia  +, writes (2 June 2009):
 Before you broke up with your boyfriend, did you find a moment to yourself and confirm that you really wanted to do this?
He seems to be pretty in love with you and to be honest, unreturned love hurts a bit.
If you don't feel the same way about him, it's okay but don't analyse it, there is nothing to analyse. You just dont' feel the same way. It's okay
If you are having regrets, then perhaps you need to rethink it. But feeling sad, just means that you are missing something familiar...and a friend.
In time, it will be okay
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A
male
reader, koenig  +, writes (2 June 2009):
I think it's fine to analyse breakups, but for some people it becomes an obsession, forever dwelling on what could have been.From what you've said, I don't get why you broke up either. If he felt that way about you, surely he'd want you to stay in his life and he'd want to give you a chance to feel the same way as him. I wonder whether could be more to this than meets the eye, things either of you have felt or thought but have never had the guts to say... It seems a really shame to go from that to this, I'm so sorry.I think perhaps why you want to talk to someone about it, is because the breakup wasn't very conclusive, it didn't make very much sense to you. You're sad that it's over, but you also want closure from this whole unfortunate affair and all of this getting why you broke up is preventing you from getting that closure.I'd say, go and talk to a therapist or a trusted friend or anyone who you think will do a good job of talking it through with you. Not for the success of your future relationships necessarily, but for your sanity.Good luck in getting over this, these things are always tough.
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A
female
reader, Rihannax  +, writes (2 June 2009):
 if you just broke up 2 hours ago, and today he was saying what you said he said, and if he was being honest, i promise you he will come running, if he is angry at you for not feeling the same, imagine how he is feeling now, alot worse than you.
if you want him and if u can or want to show him you want to be with him, thats if you do, decide wt you want, then jus text him and say, that your sorry and you will open up to him.
but decide wt you want 1st.. why dont u feel the same for him?
x
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