A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey everyone!!!!I have been single for a couple of months now. Me and my ex broke up mutually (i wanted to break up for a while before we actually did). Since we broke up though i made the decision to stay single for a while (i have had 3 long term relationships and never really been single for a long time. I wanted to spend time on myself and gain some independance. I have turned down several dates with decent guys because of this.Anyway i need advice on one of my managers at work. He has been at my work for about 5 months now. I would never date this guy even if i did want to start dating. He is arrogant - which is usually a real turnoff for me.However i find this man extremely sexy. He is very good looking, but not my usual type. He flirts with me constantly at work and is one of the guys that i turned down for a date. All we do at work is flirt, we have incredible sexual tension. I have never had this before with anyone. I literally just want to have sex with him. He pointed out the sexual tension between us aswell. Although he has never asked me for sex.Im not the type of girl usually who just sleeps with someone unless already in a relstionship with them. Im a relationship girl through and through. But i really really want to just have sex with him. Im not sure if it's just sexual frustration as i havent had sex since me and my ex broke up, or i just have a strong desire for this man. My question is should i let go of my inhibitions and just go for it or should i just ride it out and hope it goes away?I literally cant stop thinking about it and find myself finding excuses to get him alone or get him to notice me more like dressing sexier, more make up etc.BTW it honestly doesnt matter that he is one of my managers. My workplace is already quite insestuous with everyone else and ive been out at clubs with most of my managers including my main manager on drugs (them not me). So i dont have anything to worry about.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 November 2013): Hey, this is the OP
Thank you guys for your replies, I really appreciate it!
shna - I do know exactly what I want!
I want to be single for a while. I have never really been single before and would like to experience it. Plus I feel I need to work on myself a bit. Gain more confidence and independence. I'm always me and a boyfriend - never my own person. Although I do miss being in a relationship and its not about being single and sleeping around.
I guess I am looking for something casual - but only with this guy. I am quite worried about my feelings. I have never done this with a guy before, so I have no idea how I will react or whether I would get attached. I am trying to be as realistic as possible.
I do know that I definitely DO NOT want a relationship with this man. He is arrogant, loud and usually my worst nightmare in a man. His cousin (who also works with us) has told me he is a relationship man and has always been faithful to previous girlfriends. Which makes me think that he wouldn't go for no strings fun anyway.
I do still want to have sex with him, but after careful consideration, I have decided to just go with the flow. See what happens and follow his signals. Hopefully if he wants me as much as I want him, he will let me know. If not, I don't want to go and embarrass myself :)
Thanks again xx
A
female
reader, shna  +, writes (26 November 2013):
 I think you should go for it !! Heads up being in a relationship which starts out as sexual tension is amazing thats what i have right now ... Nearly five months down the line at its still sex three time a night ! We just know exactly what are bodys want from each other its a crazy experience !!
I think firstly you need to decided what you want !! Have you fufilled everything you wanted to do as a single lady? Are you just looking for somthing casual or are u ready for a relationship again!!
Keep in mind if you do go out with this guy make sure he understands the boundaries of your relationship that means what happens in the bedroom stays in the bedroom your personal lives shouldn't interfere with your professional ones so respect him in work and he will respect you. !!
Make up your mind about what you want and then make your move x
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A
female
reader, desiree075  +, writes (25 November 2013):
Hey, I think it would be a great experience for you to have untethered sex. I don't think every type of relationship has to be the same. So, my first instinct would be to say: go have fun. Just be careful and responsible, and you might even learn somethign you wouldn't have otherwise!However, something comes to mind: the other day, my girlfriend and I were discussing some research that states that during sex/orgasm, women tend to release chemicals that make them want to nest. It is for this reason that many women (supposedly) get attached who whomever they are sexing with, even if the person is wrong for them, and all logic points towards that. Of course, women are different from each other, and this is not to say men don't feel closeness. I would only be wary.This being said, I have had many experiences where I've gotten attached and it was a bad idea, but I have also been with people, had a great time, kissed goodbye the next morning and left the whole experience as a fond memory, and something to think about when I masturbate.So, if you decide to embark on this adventure, I do advise that you keep your feelings in check, especially if you feel this man is not right for you, or that you are simply not ready for a relationship. So, in answer to your question: go for it! One of the perks of being single is to have sex with whomever the f*** you want to! My three personal rules:1/ No heartbreaks: This you can prevent with prior discussion about where you both stand.2/ No babies.3/ No diseases. Good luck!
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