A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:hi.my boyfriend works offshore 5 weeks on and 5 weeks off.I moved in with him last year away from my parent.i rearly see them.Im finding it more difficult to deal with every time he leaves.i cry every day and just sleep all day to pass the time.I just cant live like this anymore but cant live without him.i love him to bits.is it selfish of me to try to get him to change his job?
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female
reader, birdynumnums  +, writes (6 June 2008):
 My husband has travelled and we have lived apart several times because of jobs - even when our kids were babies. Our separations were 2 months, 1 and 1/2 years and 1 year! We would get the occasional weekend, but most of the time, it was about 5 weeks too! We been together 35 years now, if I could do it, so can you!
Like all the aunties have said, you need to get out and get active. Improve your social life and join some groups. Even if he was home all the time, he would want you to have your own personal interests. It isn't fair to put the burden of being responsibe for you on him, and guys get very frustrated by clingy girls, so get up on your feet and get moving.
You did know that he had this job before you started dating him, and you should be supporting him in his chosen career. Guys do identify themselves by their careers, so be proud of him! AND just think, he is far away from any trouble that he could be getting into! My husband's career always included wining and dining with business associates, some that wanted to go to Girly Bars, so consider yourself lucky and count your blessings!
It's an adjustment, but you can do this!
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (6 June 2008):
If he worked in this job when you met him then you really knew what you were signing up for, so it would be a bit wrong to try and make him change his job. Especially if he likes it or the money is good. Well paid jobs are hard to come by these days.
When my husband went to Iraq first time I was exactly the same and just cried and hid at home. It was horrible.
This time, I have got myself new hobbies (making jewellery) new evenings (joined a writing group) and have turned the house upside down to sort it all out while he is away and I can leave mess about.
Get yourself out and about and get a social life so you don't sit thinking about him all day.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 June 2008): Do you work? Why did you have to move in with him? Do you have any hobbies? If you want to live with them then you should consider the fact that he is away so much before you moved in. Talk to him and see if he is prepared to have a job that is nearer to home, or maybe one where he isnt away at all. Or why dont you go back home for the weeks he is working and come back when he comes home? It is just an idea. But if you do stay, then keep busy, work, make something, but stop this moping around, or you would be better off finishing.
take care
xx
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