A
female
age
22-25,
anonymous
writes:Is it possible to fall for a guy you've never spoken to? We have mutual friends so of course we've somewhat been introduced but we've never officially spoken. We're both embarrassingly shy so when our groups merge he stays in his bubble and I stay in mine. I can talk to all of the other guys in his crew but when it comes to him I physically can't structure words. I guess the same goes for him because I'm the only one in my crew that he hasn't spoken to. The weird thing is, even though I haven't spoken to him, I've actually somehow fallen for him, I haven't considered his looks much. Only recently have i noticed that hes attractive, even though others might not agree.We always have these moments where our eyes meet, sometimes for several seconds, then I just have to look away I just get too nervous. There have been quite a few times where I've caught him staring at me but I don't know what that means. The other day we were both alone studying (not together, I wish) and I could feel his eyes peering over to where I as and every time I looked up discreetly he was watching me. Well I do the same actually when he isn't looking. I don't know if that's a sign he likes me. Bare in mind this happened after he found out that i like him, and he was watching me... what does that mean? Could he maybe like me? Is it possible that I'm actually falling for him even though the closest to speaking we have gotten is my friends speaking to him whilst I stand there nervously?
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male
reader, Serpico  +, writes (22 May 2016):
In short, in reality, no.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 May 2016): It is very normal to fall for someone you've never spoken to; if you are always close to them in some way and have observed a lot about them. If you see how nice they are, how they are liked by other people, and how they may look at you. At your age, it's fine to do that.
Well, if you don't get the nerve to say something; this is how it is always going to be. Shyness is something you have to work on. You will have to deal with people you don't know all your life. There is being reserved, which means you're just quiet around strangers and it takes time to warm-up to people. That is keeping safe, and makes sense.
Then there's people who act terrified and become paralyzed around people they like. That's immature. Unless is is associated with a behavior disorder; then you can't help it. Sometime it may be bad enough to require therapy. You have to overcome paralyzing shyness; because you can't function or be independent, if you're terrified of interacting with people you don't know. You'll be very lonely and will have no friends; or boys will just ignore you.
I recommend you talk to him, or focus your attention on someone not as shy as yourself. It will always be a standoff and no one will make the first move. That will drive you nuts.
Practice talking to him in the mirror. What you would say to him if you could. A smile at someone you like is worth a thousand words, and might get you a smile back. That will warm you up to each other until you gather enough nerve and courage to speak. Start with hi or hello. You don't have to start a conversation until you are comfortable enough to do it.
Good luck, sweetie!
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