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Is it possible that guys don't ask me out because they find me intimidating?

Tagged as: Dating, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (15 October 2008) 8 Answers - (Newest, 15 October 2008)
A female United States age 18-21, anonymous writes:

This is merely a curiousity question. I'm not desparate for a boyfriend or anything. I've never thought much of it before, but people are always complimenting me on how pretty I am (nice hair, good figure, or whatever is what they say). I'm not vain about it and I don't let it get to my head (in fact, I've often denied it because I sometimes get bad acne), but is it possible that guys don't ask me out because they find me intimidating? I mean, guys probably get nervous around girls just like we get nervous around them, right?

Of course, I know there are other, more important factors when it comes to dating (personality, sense of humor, intelligence, honesty, kindness, etc.). It's just I can't really figure out what turns guys off. I mean, I'm a nice person. I'm well-groomed. I'm smart (though I don't always make smart choices... :P). O.K., I can be a little loopy sometimes, but not in a way that causes other people harm or really ticks them off.

Sorry... This is long. I often think very deeply on different subjects, even if they're only minor or a curiousity.

The bulk of this question is probably "Do guys find pretty girls intimidating, and what would make a guy want or not want to ask a girl out?"

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (15 October 2008):

Guys are definately intimidated by beautiful girls such as yourself. It's ironic because guys probably think either you are already taken or are way too good for them, which leads to you not getting dates. The more down to earth you act towards guys the more dates you will get, just be your normal self but perhaps you might need to initiate the conversation with guys you like, cuz they probably like you but are too scared to show it.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (15 October 2008):

It is possible some guys find a pretty girl intimidating same as some girls are a bit shy with handsome men. I think it is all a matter of self-confidence and if you believe a person is out of your league then they probably are. But only because you think that way. It's all in the mind I suppose.

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A male reader, DoubleM United States +, writes (15 October 2008):

DoubleM agony auntYes, girls are totally intimidating to most guys! It takes many of us men years or a lifetime to be really comfortable hitting on a woman, especially if the girl is attractive (not too fat and all that stuff). If you take an interest in a guy, the best things you could do to nail his attention include: a wink or a smile.

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A male reader, Danielepew Mexico + , writes (15 October 2008):

Danielepew agony auntA woman can be intimidating, but I don't thik that's because of the way she looks. If she's intimidating at all, it's because of how she behaves.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (15 October 2008):

well im not a guy so i dont know but i think guys are sometimes just as shy as girls and it takes heaps of courage to ask any girl out so i dont think it is just you i think that if you like someone maybe you have to make them aware of it and then they will be more willing to ask.. mayeb i dunno.

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A male reader, prof_orr United States +, writes (15 October 2008):

prof_orr agony auntYou need to show more cleavage.

Sorry for the short answer but the it's not complicated, guys like boobs.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (15 October 2008):

The answer to your question is yes. Of course they do. They probably think you wouldn't think twice about them considering your appearance. Oh, lol, and if you're shy, watch out. Shyness is translated as being a bitch for some reason. So you could very well be giving off a bitchy, I'm hot, don't talk to me kind of thing, :-D

I know you said you're not desperate, but if you ever would like a bf, I have some advice. If you have your eye on someone and you can tell that he does as well, but doesn't do anything, you initiate the conversation. Be who you are and trust me, it'll work itself out.

Good luck!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (15 October 2008):

lol, alot of guys get nervous around pretty girls. Some are just so up themselves that it doesn't occur to them to be nervous either. I've had a very similar question to yours. I used to wonder whether guys found me intimidating as I'm (I don't mean to come across as vain) a pretty intelligent person but also an attractive one. I used to find guys didn't quite know how to take me. I'd get checked out and complimented on my looks constantly but I'd never get approached.

One day I met this guy who just came up to me and introduced himself right off the bat. To say I was surprised is an understatement. He saw right through me and vice versa. He didn't even notice what others kept running from. Apparently we are an unusual couple (him being the type that everyone knows and loves) me being the reserved quiet type. But we work.

So the moral of my long winded story? There is a guy out there who's just going to see past your mask whether you know it's there or not. It's like I become myself around my boyfriend and to everyone else I'm a hollower, faker imitation of myself. The guys that matter aren't going to be intimidated by you and soon enough you're going to find one that's worth hanging on too.

Hope this helps your curiousity :)

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