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Is it over for good or just a break?

Tagged as: Breaking up, Dating, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (30 March 2009) 3 Answers - (Newest, 30 March 2009)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

My boyfriend and I have dating for 2 years and 7 months. He is 25, but I was his first girlfriend. We have talked about marriage in the past, but he has avoided the topic for almost a year now. He hasn't been saying "I love you" back for the last month, so I asked him how he felt about me last Sunday. He said he didn't know. I responded "if you don't know, maybe we shouldn't be dating."

I didn't want to break up, but I don't want to be with someone who doesn't love me. He feels pretty confident with the breakup, but he doesn't really know anything about how he feels or if he wants to date other people. He just said it was "something that needed to happen. And if we do get back together, it will be better than it was before." We've only been apart one week, but nothing has changed. I still feel 100% in love with him, and if he promises to commit to me I would marry him this second.

I spent 6 weeks during the summer studying abroad in China, so we were apart for some time, but things were better than ever when I got back.

My question is, does he just need time and space or are we done for good? I just can't seem to move on. Help!

View related questions: a break, get back together, move on

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (30 March 2009):

Hello... this is the person who asked the question. The "break-up" has been hard on me. I have lost 7lbs in one week. I did try to ask whether this as a break or a break up, but his usual answer "I don't know" came out. I know he isn't playing me... he is not the type. His sister asked him last night if he made the right decision, and you guessed it, he answered "I don't know." Without the closure, I just can't move on.

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A female reader, jumpsuit01 Canada +, writes (30 March 2009):

jumpsuit01 agony auntI feel bad for you, im feeling the same way, me and my boyfriend have been dating 3 years and 2 months and if he asked me to marry him right now i would, the only difference is we havent broken up yet, and he basicly cheats on me with other girls and i can't stand it. with my situation he just need to be with other poeple before he can commit to me, in yours i think he just needs space and not to talk or see you for a while so he can sort out his feelings and relize how much you mean to him and how much he loves you.

And if you dont mind i would like to ask a question of you, How did you handle the 'taking a break' or break up because whenever i even think about letting him go i cry, i can't really seee myself without him, how did you deal with it?

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A male reader, MyDestiny United States +, writes (30 March 2009):

MyDestiny agony aunt what you need to do is ask "HIM" that......only he knows the answer to that question,

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