A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Whilst I realise several of us may have done this would you all be honest especially men who might reply and say the truth - if someone has just met someone else on holiday during a two week break - is it wise to sleep with them or would they probably think I was an easy lay. Is it normally best to hold back for sex if one can.I would rather have a truthful answer rather than spare ny feelings. I am female aged 43Thanks
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female
reader, lexilou +, writes (2 July 2008):
 It depends if you want a lasting relationship or a quickie!!! As I was with my first hubbie from 15 to 32 I was quite old when I had my first one night stand. Nothing to write home about I can tell you but it wasnt my last. I wasnt ready for a real relationship but I got horny so occasionally did this. I also had (at separate times) 2 shag buddies as I was alone, expect for 2 short term failed relationships, through choice til I met my 2nd husband after 4 years of being single.
So if you want to, next time go for it, but if you think he is the one make him wait. And always always always insist on a condom x
A
female
reader, Ask oldersister  + ♥, writes (2 July 2008):
 He told someone that? Dumbass. What a power down. It's probably good that you didn't.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 July 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI didnt do it but wish I had!!! The thing that put me off was he told a couple he had only just met that he was trying to get me into bed and wanted to and it was said so I could hear it all!!!! I felt that was a bit below the belt.
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A
male
reader, Jamer70 +, writes (2 July 2008):
 Well who cares what he thinks, he is your easy lay.
In sex its not always the woman who is conquered a man can be, either way i wouldnt care, sex is sex
If both parties are single, unattached, legal and willing there is no issue.
(Though you know this a condom should be used)
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A
female
reader, *Jess* +, writes (2 July 2008):
 I think its ok if you use protection, are single, and that you do it for the right reasons. Some people would say there aren't right reasons for this but there are definately wrong reasons. If it's just a fling, both parties know this and are happy with this, then I think its ok if thats what you want to do. Sexuality is freedom.
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A
female
reader, Ask oldersister + ♥, writes (2 July 2008):
Life happens and either you give yourself permission to do something or you don't. This is a question you ask yourself before you have sex and you do it because you want to seize the moment or you don't do it because you know it doesn't fit your values or whatever else it conflicts with. You certainly don't need this guy's validation, your own is good enough. Did you have a good time? I was once in this situation in my 20's on a cruise and I met this man that was absolutely gorgeous and spent a couple of nights with him. I never spoke to him after that. Why? I threw away his contact info before I even packed my bags to leave and plus, I never even gave the guy my real name. The last thing on my mind was what he thought about me or if I looked easy. I know he had a blast and will always remember that time! It was what it was, no more.
I think your quandry is that you're attaching too many expectations on this. What does he think of me? Am I okay? Am I a whore? You are a 43 yr old woman and you know life isn't a fairytale, it's something to be created and we can create rich experiences for ourselves and move forward or stay stuck by second guessing everything we do and wondering what everyone else in the world thinks of it. I hope you had a nice time and leave it at that!
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A
male
reader, Uncle_Phil + ♥, writes (2 July 2008):
 I wouldn't say it's particularly wise, you've no idea of their history - or they yours for that matter. A condom would be a definite pre-requisite if ever I went down that road. Holding back? Well, what's the point if you're going to have sex anyway? You'd just be delaying things a little.
As for the 'easy lay' bit - if you're an easy lay so is he. What's good for one is good for the other.
If I didn't love my partner as much as I do, or my relationship with her was as low as it could get without actually going our separate ways I might consider it, but only if I thought I could live with the deceit and not feel so guilty I that had to tell her all about it to relieve my conscience.
If you're both single and otherwise unattached then why not? Life is for living and we only come this way once. Life isn't a rehearsal so get out and enjoy it - but not if it means destroying anyone's trust and respect for you or an otherwise happy relationship.
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