A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I met a man a while ago and we started dating. It was going well and I really liked him and still do, but unfortunately, because of circumstances outside our control, we have to go our separate ways. I won't go into it because it's a long story but in any case, it's nobody's fault. I am gutted about it but have accepted that it's over. However, I would like to see him one more time before we cut ties, just to have one last good day together, just enjoying ourselves, so that I can remember him as a positive experience. I've never experienced a good or civil end to a relationship and I would like to. Is it weird that I want this? I mean, we've talked and realised that it's not going to work out between us so it's better to break up now, so I wonder if it would feel fake. Maybe I will also hurt myself more by seeing him. The other thing is that we were together for just a month, so I don't know if I have a right to ask him for this. We had a close and emotional relationship but I don't know if he would understand. I hope this question makes sense. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the advice. I am still in two minds about it because he has a lot of stuff going on in his life and I don't know if I would be making things worse for both of us by seeing him again, but at the same time it would give me closure. In the past I've never had any control over when and how relationships end, and I've never ended on good terms or been able to talk about things and say goodbye to my exes, so I feel like this would be helpful to me.
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (13 February 2013):
 It's "OK" to have that last date/day that you would like....
BUT... I would question, "... to what purpose?" The breakup has happened.... and what can ensue from that "last date" can only add to, and protract the anguish of your amiable break up..... I vote against it....
Good luck....
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A
female
reader, Euphoric29  +, writes (13 February 2013):
Dear OP,I think your idea is great and I hope it will bring you and him some closure.Of course you have a right to ask for this, he can still say no.However, in my experience, closure can only work if both parties are ready for it. I tried the meet-him-one-last-time thing twice and I always felt closure for myself, however, the two men I met (separately of course, I am talking about two different stories), didn't feel like this. They still sent me emails after that and asked me why it didn't work out and if there were REALLY no more feelings etc. In the end, they were mad at me. I tried to be very friendly and it somehow gave them hope. But you know, do what your heart tells you to do. It might or might not work, you will know after you have asked. Maybe it's also a good idea to think about what you need to say or ask in order to feel closure.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (13 February 2013):
 it sounds like it's an amicable break up... you've talked and agreed it's not going to work.
I understand your question but I don't think you should see him one last time if you have both agreed you should move on...
why drag out the inevitable?
why risk backtracking or doing something stupid like having sex one last time...
why give yourself the ability to question the decision to end it if you have "one more last good day to remember?"
what will seeing him one more time accomplish?
"I don't know if he would understand"
what wouldn't he understand OP?
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (13 February 2013):
Whenever it's possible, ending things "on a good note" is a great idea. It can help with closure, which is one of the things people struggle with the most in a breakup.
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