A
female
age
41-50,
*.n.b
writes:i opened this account to just ask...that is it ok if iam in love with a married man who is aroung 13...14 yrs older thn me. i love him so much...we talk on phone..he says he loves me and he loves his wife also...its driving me nuts...plz help!!!!11
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2010): Is it okay to be in love with him? Yes. You can't help how you feel. Is it okay to be pursuing a relationship with a married man? Absolutely NOT. The fact that you're talking on the phone with him and he's telling you he loves his wife but loves you also is a big, flashing, neon-sign-like indicator that he is a scumbag (if he does it to her, he'll do it to you) AND that you are acting in the capacity of a homewrecker by interacting with him the way that you are. Hang up the phone before you end up in over your head.
A
male
reader, Bobito  +, writes (5 October 2010):
 Darling, this is gonna be a bit blunt.
The problem is not how old he is. If he's married and says that he loves his wife it means that he's not gonna leave her for you. If you're ok with being the part-time lover, fine. Go for him.
If you're not, just stop being in touch with him altogether. He'll come back looking for you, he'll promise you the world but you'll always be the other one. Think it carefully and then make your choice.
Best of luck x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2010): Hi! well I dont think the age thing is the issue here ...the situation is. The man is married!!! and a cheat twice over - both to you and his wife . This kind of situation can only end in people getting hurt , ultimately everybody . Even if he was to leave his wife would you be happy living with the knowledge and insecurity it brings to you that hes done it before (to his wife) he may do it to you? theres somebody out there for everybody - let this thing go before it spirals into a much bigger problem and creates all kinds of issues and do the right thing - by yourself and the other woman involved . Best of luck x
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A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (5 October 2010):
 You cannot force love to come or go. But please do not act on it. Please cut off all communication with him, do not provoke anything you will both regret. He says he loves his wife and he is already married, so let him rekindle things with his wife and make her happy, free yourself to find someone else who will make you happy.
I hope that helps.
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