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Is it normal for my boyfriend to not take my shirt off when we are getting frisky?

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Question - (30 November 2012) 5 Answers - (Newest, 30 November 2012)
A female United States age 22-25, anonymous writes:

Is it normal for my boyfriend to not take my shirt off when we are getting frisky? He loves touching and sucking on my breasts but he will not take my shirt off.Is it because I am unattractive? I asked him about it and he claims he has no idea why he doesn't. Anyone know why or if this is normal?

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2012):

Perhaps like a lot of men he likes some clothes left on? I'm not qualified to explain why but certainly in my case I prefer a partially dressed female to a totally nude one until we get down and do it. Something to do with the mystery of it, plus taking off those last items is extremely sexy.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2012):

Do you know how long it takes to take off a shirt and a bra? Especially at his age? It can kill the mood and make a guy feel awkward and stupid.

I mean I can do it with one hand now and a bra before she even knows I'm going to. The whole process takes about 20 seconds for the shirt and bra to come off.

But when I was his age it took forever a lot of the time, they'd have to stop and do it themselves and I felt a bit of an idiot.

OP just take those off yourself, if you pop your boobs out in front of him he's going to play with them, simple as that. not many guys especially at his age like to feel like fumbling fools so he won't even bother. Maybe you could make a game out of it sometime. I had a girlfriend teach me the one hand bra removal trick and let me practice on her. It was lots of fun. There's even videos of how to do it on youtube.

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A female reader, CindyCares Italy + , writes (30 November 2012):

CindyCares agony auntProbably because at his age he is simple, basic, no frills and very horny. He zooms right on his target, no time for the fine points of a refined seduction with slow, tantalizing stripteases, LOL.

You've got nothing to worry, IMO, and it has nothing to do with your attractiveness , your bf is just a bit ,well, unpolished yet. Just TELL him what you want him to do- or take off your shirt yourself :).

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2012):


I really wouldnt worry about this, my boyfriend is the same. Sometimes we rip everything off, other times we just dont.

It really depends on the moment, dont worry at all, im sure everything is fine.

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A female reader, Dorothy Dix Australia +, writes (30 November 2012):

Hi there. It's got nothing to do with being attractive or not.

It's simply the way he does it.

Let me tell you, that if he thought you were unattractive, he wouldn't be with you in the first place, would he?

So he very obviously, finds you very attractive!

This seems clear.

And if it is only kissing that you do and he sucks your breasts then, he is probably being very conscious of the fact that you might NOT be ready to go any further than kissing, which would certainly explain why he DOESN'T remove your top.

He probably doesn't want to go any further - towards sex - until he knows without any doubt, that you are absolutely ready for this big step.

And it is a BIG step, most certainly. So you do need to be emotionally ready, for when that time comes.

In months to come, you will instinctively know when you want to venture down that path.

DO NOT rush into it though, there's plenty of time.

So if I were you, I would take that - his not removing your top - as being a mark of respect for you.

So don't be too concerned, because there is no need to be.

And I am now assuming that you have not had sex with each other yet, and so he realizes that if he was to remove your top, that it could lead to sex, and he is aware that that's probably not what you want at the moment.

So consequently, he is holding back on doing that, until you tell him clearly, that you ARE ready.

So DO NOT be forced into it, if it just doesn't feel right to you.

It DOES have to feel emotionally right, PLUS, your relationship with him needs to be built on mutual respect and trust for each other, and that he treats you at all times, with dignity and respect, takes you out to nice places, and spends some money on you.

The main thing is that you are happy with him and in his company, and that you enjoy each other's company and feel comfortable with each other as well, is also very important in any relationship.

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