A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Is it normal for guy friends to touch each other so much? My boyfriend says all guys do this, but I don't think so. In their group of friends they are always joking about having sex with each other, and they grab each others asses and squeeze it. They sometimes do it right in front of me, but most often I walk in on them when my boyfriend is alone with another guy, and the other guy will for example press his groin up against his butt (which happened last time, and then a few minutes later I walked in on my boyfriend firmly squeezing his butt and whispering something in his ear). There's been many many other times, where they have ended up in bed together even, and I know this because my boyfriend admitted to it. It was at a party and he and his friend went missing for a while, and I later asked where he had gone to and he told me they had been "playing around" in his bedroom, with my boyfriend straddling his friend and playing with his nipples.I feel weird about this. At first I laughed it away, but they do it so much. I no longer know what to say, and I even asked my boyfriend if they could please stop it. His friends have told me that they had him long before I did, and I can't expect to keep him to myself (with sexual references I wont repeat here). It makes me uncomfortable. Is this normal?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 May 2013): Hi, I am the one who posted this, but I lost my code. Anyway, I don't have reason to think anything else has been going on. Maybe he is bi-curious, I don't really care. But what I wanted to confirm was that this isn't normal for all guys, and that when it makes me uncomfortable I'm not the one who is over-reacting. So thank you, this is confirming what I think. He shouldn't be feeling up anyone else when he has a girlfriend, even if he doesn't intend to go further.
I will have another talk with him about this, and tell him clearly what I think about the matter. Thank you all for confirming that I'm not exaggerating.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 May 2013): Sounds like your boyfriend is having a love fest with all of you......you are being made a fool.
You sound sweet and naïve. Move on and find a guy who appreciates you and only you.
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A
female
reader, shrodingerscat  +, writes (21 May 2013):
 If his friend was a woman, you would automatically understand exactly what was going on, but because his friend is male, you're having a hard time seeing the forest for the trees.
He's sleeping with his buddy. Time to move on.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (21 May 2013):
 I was GONNA say that it's not very common..... but then, I noticed that you live in DENMARK... the home of Legos......
Good luck....
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 May 2013): Hes bi-curious, possibly bi, maybe even gay. I mean my guy will joke about it saying oh yeah me n j are gonna go get a room, that kind of stuff, but if either one ever tried anything, I know my giy would freak! So no its not normal, I mean hes not homophobic, but he knows hes not gay and doesnt want any part of it. I would cconsider it cheating
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A
female
reader, largentsgirl89 +, writes (21 May 2013):
 My bf and his friends do the joking around things, but if one of his friends put his groin up to my bf's ass, it would be on. And I mean a fight, not a nipple playing with session.
You're boyfriend sounds like he is cheating with his guy friend and is in denial about being either gay or bisexual. You should confront him and tell him this isn't the normal behavior of a "straight" man.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 May 2013): No it's not normal or healthy to just expect you to be ok with these sexual frivolities- if that's all they were that would be slightly unusual (as most men don't have any incline to do this to each other, as well as not wanting to look gay anyway) - but it must be more than a joke: it is not normal to often walk in on your boyfriend alone with another guy doing these things to each other, whether your bf admits it or not, his friends are definitely not joking around and if he didn't like it he wouldn't put up with it- I'm sorry I think this is one minefield you don't wan2 be part of, and whatever his sexual preferences/ orientation, ( almost certainly gay) it's not right for you xx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 May 2013): That sounds very gay. And no straight guys don't act that way. Guys who grew up together (like since kindergarten) do tend to be "closer" and more comfortable around each other, but usually its not in a touchy-feely way but more in an emotional way. There is definitely more to this "friendship" than he is willing to admit. I would pry and straight up ask your boyfriend if he is hooking up with his friends or has any desire to. He's been honest so far so maybe he'll say yes he has. And if he has, dont let him convince you thats just how guys are, cause its not, thats straight up gay. And if he says, "no way, ew gross," then tell him to stop acting so gay around his buddies cause its NOT normal for a "straight" man to joke about gay sex, get his butt fondled by his friends groin, disappear with a dude to play around and straddle each other while playing with each others nipples. Puh lease. Thats about as gay as it gets.
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (21 May 2013):
 No it's not normal, your boyfriend sounds like he's cheating on you with his guy friend. Would it be OK for him to be doing with a woman?
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