A
male
age
22-25,
anonymous
writes:Very complicated situation but I'll try to summarize it.I'm a 23 year old guy and I broke up with my long term girlfriend about a year ago. We went out for 2 years, had an on/off relationship for a while (I was the one who kept breaking it off)She is an amazing woman, we have deep chemistry that I haven't experienced with anyone I've dated since then, the reason I kept breaking up with her was due to still being in school and not knowing what I wanted to do with my life, now I have a job and a part time business and know where I'm headed and ready to be more serious.However, I didn't have the urge to get back with my ex until I found out she was dating a much older guy, whom she tells me provides for her, but she misses the deep connection we had that she doesn't share with him.I want to get back with her so bad, but I'm worried that I only want to get back with her because she has a mature bf who's ready for that stage in his life and I'm just scared to lose her forever.Just looking to see if anyone else out there had the same experience and if they ended up moving on or getting back in a healthy relationship.
View related questions:
broke up, my ex Reply to this Question |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, hello1  +, writes (28 December 2007):
 Depends, do you want an serious relationship with her? if not then let her move on. If you do and don't want too lose her, then win her back. Up too you
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2007): To me personally it just sounds like you don't really really love her but you can't seem to let her go, probably because you haven't met anybody else yet or you are scared that you may not meet anybody else who loves you as much as she does. But the truth of the matter is that if you loved her, like genuinely totally loved her, no matter what phase of your life you have been in, you would have wanted to be with her always. So clearly you didn't really love her. But I know that when somebody loves you like she probably did, that does wonders to your ego and her attention is a very hard thing to have to lose. And now that she met someone else you are scared that she is going to forget you and pay all her attention to this guy. So you are jealous and feel threatened NOT because you love her but ONLY because you love the attention she gives you and are afraid to lose that. So don't be selfish. Let her be. Cause all you are doing is playing a little selfish game with her purely to your own benefit and that kind of behavior catches up to you. Its not fair to her. This new guy might actually genuinely love her. So let her be.
...............................
A
female
reader, baby duck  + ♥, writes (28 December 2007):
 How very brave and open-minded of you to explore this question. The thing is, as often the case with deep truths, there is no absolute answer at the onset. It is one of those where the truth will unfold, will be revealed to you as your life continues. It is through the actual living, not all the deep introspective thoughts, that so many of these important questions are answered.
So, the answer is not cut and dry. However, because you are open to the possibilities, you are more inclined than many to heed the cues as they present themselves. Proceed with caution in the direction that you want to go. When additional questions surface, and you try out different answers, the truth will resonate ... it will ping in you like a sonar wave.
I am always so encouraged when I hear young men acknowledge their vulnerabilities. As long as you continue to have an open heart and an open mind, you will continue to grow and learn. No, it will not spare you pain, but it might spare you excessive pain and you may repel the drama queens. So, more power to you ... continue to have the courage to go where you are unsure the road leads.
Best wishes.
...............................
|
