A
male
age
30-35,
*mwww
writes:Has anyone gotten over their first love? How long did it take for you? Is it even possible??? Did you find love again???It's been a year and a half since my ex-girlfriend dumped me for someone else. I don't think about her as often anymore, but if the day came, I don't think I'd be ready to see her face-to-face or talk to her. I've healed, but I know I'm not 100%. Sometimes, I can't tell if I'm getting over the girlfriend aspect of her, or the high school best friend (we were best friends for 4 years before we started dating).I'm still single since she left. I'm terrified to open up again. I refuse to flirt with new girls, because it makes me feel vulnerable. I guess it doesn't matter, because women don't even seem interested in me anymore.I still feel a little hurt whenever I think too much about my ex. But I've been laughing more, I've been more outgoing again, I made amazing friends, I go dancing, I work out often, I go to poetry events, and I'm really involved in student groups. I'm a 3rd year student in college, but I feel like I won't ever again find someone who will complement me, or romantically love me. Sometimes still, I feel like I let the best thing in my life go, but I really wish I'd meet a wonderful woman who could erase that thought.
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male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (16 May 2010):
I did get over my first love. It wasn't hard. She cheated on my on my birthday, so it was all over quickly. I cut contact and spent time on myself and made sure I was out there with friends. It took me 6 months. In comparison, it took my friend 2 years to get over his ex, but then he wasn't focusing on himself as much, and he spent his time alone thinking about her. So you can and will get over her, but I think you need to be focusing on yourself far more. Spend time on your confidence and get it together, and then the right women will come around.
A
male
reader, riv +, writes (16 May 2010):
IT'S not a matter of WHETHER it is possible for you to get over her : it's an essential REQUIREMENT FOR YOUR SANITY that you get over her. SO DO IT !Carry on with all the College activities. Lay off the hard looking for relationship opportunities - they are more likely to arise when not being actively looked for, provided you are, as you say, socially involved.How about trying a few non-relationship NSA type sexual partners [ with condoms of course ]. If you are working out a lot shouldn't be too difficult for to score if you have the self confidence [ which is a bit chicken and egg I know - you have to score to build up the confidence ! - ].A fair bit of casual sex / friendships will be useful experience anyway and College is the place where these opportunities exist . It's called playing the field ; and it's what guys are expected to do so.... enjoy !
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A
male
reader, crazybeast +, writes (16 May 2010):
 I myself have never gotton over my first love, i think there is always going to be a connection because you completly and uterly fall for them.Even tho i have had other people i have fallen in love with only two stand out, my first love who i had an amazing time with and regret completly losing and my best friend who i would literally die for.From (G)Callum x
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