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male
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anonymous
writes: I have a long distance relationship that's been going on for over 3 years now. Most of my girlfriend's friends happen to be male. Being that we live so far apart (900 miles, to be exact), I don't see her but a weekend a month.My problem is, more and more frequently, she's been going out with her male friends, getting drunk with them and spending the night at their place.Is something going on? She says no (of course), but I'm not sure. Am I just too insecure? Will I ever get the truth?I have a certain amount of trust in her, and she's admitted to me that she once cheated on a former boyfriend, but how can I believe everything she says?I'm not going with gut feelings, because they may be wrong. But I sense something fishy is going on here? What can I do?
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drunk, her ex, insecure, long distance Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 October 2005): Hold the fish, I smell a whale. You need to be very up front with your girlfriend and say you do not feel good "at all" about her sleeping arrangements at her boy friends houses. What she is doing is unexcusable. She will continue to treat you this way as long as you tolerate it. You have enough to worry about with her being so far away. Take a stand. You owe it to your self-respect.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 September 2005): IF you really believe you can trust her despite such circumstances then dont worry at all. However, in all probability, there is a good chance she is cheating on you. Why? She did it before in another relationship and she is getting drunk and sleeping over other guys houses. Sure they are friends but out of those friends, there is bound to be at least one guy who wouldnt mind being more than friends and the situation just makes a fling all the more likely to happen. If she was serious about her realtionship with you then she should at least be considerate enough to not stay over these other guys houses- at least do something to assuage your worries. How woudl she feel if you were doing the same thing?
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A
female
reader, missdee +, writes (24 September 2005):
Without her admitting to it. You may never find out for sure if she is or not. You can try telling her that this bothers you, as I am sure it would if you was staying all night with girls (even though you said nothing was going on)If she won't stop there probably is something going on. You should never do something to your partner that you wouldn't want your partner to do to you.
Personally, I always go with my gut. It has never led me wrong.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 September 2005): you are fooling yourself. why would you want a person that behaves that way. ladies dont get drunk more than once and spend the night at a fellows place. once maybe but after that?? get grip and find someone that acts as if they want you.
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A
female
reader, lovestruck +, writes (24 September 2005):
it is obvious you really like this girl and well its never easy to know if someone is lying to you but i think if you know this girl as well as you think you do then you should trust her but if you think she's back to her old tricks then you should think about if you still want to be with her
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