A
male
age
30-35,
*ig
writes:Hi! I have a girlfriend of 2 years and I deeply love her. Recently we had a bit of a relationship breakdown and she went to a male friend of her and he used her weakness and kissed her and tried to have sex with her but she stopped him. Things are getting back to normal between us now except the fact that she is still friends with that guy. In fact she talks to him more and calls him more than she did before. I would expect her to stop talking to him after what they did. Is it fair for me to ask her to choose between us? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Pig +, writes (17 January 2008):
Pig is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you all. I've done what you told me and she said that she'll try and stay away from him. I hope things will work out for the best now.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 January 2008): You should definitely tell her to choose between you or him. If she truly loves you she will give up her conversations with some sleaze bag that tried to sleep with her while you guys were going through a rocky patch.
The only problem would be if she hid her relationship with him from you. That could spell trouble also...
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A
female
reader, just-ask-xx  +, writes (16 January 2008):
 Ok, I just need to say: What an asshole (the other guy - not you)
I think in a way it is fair to make her choose, for the simple fact he tried to have sex with her when you're in a relationship, even if it was slightly rocky at the time, he had no right =(
But I also think that she might not like the idea of you trying to make her choose, therefore you may be dubbed as 'jealous' which is stupid, when it's not jealousy, it's being in love =]
I think maybe it would be best to tell her how you feel about them talking all the time.
And don't worry - she loves you, I mean, she stopped him taking it further didn't she?
Hope things work out! x
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A
female
reader, O Connor  +, writes (16 January 2008):
 well i think that you should talk to her and voice your concerns, you have every right to feel like this, considering wat they did and wat he tried to do, he is just waiting for the next breakdown to happen, and he is doin a good job. tell her how you feel and explain that you feel uncomfortable with the situation, she should understand and respect your feelings in this. she is confusing and worrying you, and making this guy think he has a chance. if she refuses to stop seeing him, or at least reduce their amount of contact, then i think you should consider the fact that she may have feelings for this guy. i hope this helps, good luck
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A
female
reader, Sweet-thing +, writes (16 January 2008):
 Your girlfriend seems to be in desperate need for validation and she's going to this guy for it. I also suspect he is her back up plan -- should things with you not work out and this is why she's keeping him on a string. As your relationship continues to grow and develop into something more stable, you should insist she drop her ties with this man because not only is she leading him on, but she's giving you mixed messages and can she really ever put her heart into your relationship as long as she knows she has someone else to run to at the drop of a hat? The next time he tries to have sex with her, she may not be so strong. Especially if she's angry with you. Good luck.
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