A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I come here not to be judged, so please bear with me and listen to my story.Btw, I'm 17 1/2 with a birthday in 48 days.I live at home with three older siblings, my elderly mom, and my nephew. My older siblings are 29, 27, and 24. They all live at home. The 29 year old, my brother, does not pay rent.Due to some problems, I've decided to drop out of high school and pursue a GED. I've every intention of applying myself in community college and do everything I can go get my two year and four year degree after wards. It's just, high school is.. I don't know. It's difficult in words to explain.I've told my two siblings (24, 27) and they're hesitant about my decision, but realize it may be better for my circumstances. I've talked to my mother about it, and her only concern is the welfare we're on. The last person I'm very afraid to tell is my eldest brother, the 29 year old. He shouts and curses and hits walls, and it's frightening because he's a big guy. But the thing is, I know if he asks me why I dropped out, he'll assume I'm lazy. I'm just depressed. I can barely move from my own room anymore, I don't hear my alarm clock, I can't sleep because my nightmares are back, and the dark's scaring me again (a fear that I thought I overcame years ago) and it's just getting to me.He still lives at home at 29, doesn't pay rent, plays an online game called Rift that he's ditched school and work for, and he's just finally achieved his associate's degree after 5 years. I feel like it's unfair that if he finds out, which he will, he'll yell at me and lecture me. But the thing is, NO ONE in my entire family has done something worth while. Especially him. I feel like my decision of dropping out shouldn't anger him because I'm trying to make this decision as an ADULT. It might not be the best one, or the 'right' one, but it's mine to make and learn from.I can't explain to him that I'm depressed all the time. I've talked to him maybe ONCE an entire month, and we live at home together. But when something life changing happens to me, this protective older sibling pops out when we barely speak!My question:Is it fair of him to lecture me about life lessons when he's never bothered to involve himself in MY life and MY choices until they're already made?
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 April 2011): My personal opinion is no, he has made his decisions in life and he sits on his game all day, you're not doing that. You're planning on going to college. Your decisions in life are different and he's going to have to deal with that and just accept that it's your life not his.
You need to get over your depression without him making it worse by lecturing you and worrying you even more. I think right now your only worry should be yourself, you need to solve your depression and stay away from any stressful situations before you worry about anything else. Your sleep is something you definitely need to work on, your depression will be intensified when you're not sleeping and before you go to bed think about something nice to avoid nightmares, if when you close your eyes you see something unpleasant open your eyes for a moment, force the image away and then close your eyes again. Also it might be a good idea to be a night light, just something small so you can see around your room.
I'm only 15 but I went through the same thing last year, I plummetted into depression and couldn't sleep, I had nightmares about almost everything you can ever dare to think about and I had to get a light just for that period of depression. But after a while I came out of my depression and got rid of the light and soon I was catching up on sleep again. Trust me the same thing will happen for you, stress didn't help my depression so just stay away from stressful situations.
Tell your brother what your plan is and if he gets angry just tell him to look in a mirror, he can't make your decisions if he's sat at home at the age of 29 playing on a game. It's your life and your choice. Just ignore everyone and work for yourself, do what you feel is right and work on your depression before you do anything else.
Good luck, I hope this helped you a little bit. Try what I said, it helped me when I had depression.
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