A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Hello: Is it un appropriate to go out with the married co workers of the opposite sex after work?? What if they come to parties without their spouses and like you as a person to hang with..is that not good??? I realize a lot of marriages are not very good, perhaps in some of these cases...but is it actually not a good thing to be good friends with married persons and celebrate with them at work parties at homes or bars??
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female
reader, anonymous999  +, writes (20 December 2010):
Don't do that !!!I went through this, and it is not worth it. You will be regreting this. Believe me
A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (20 December 2010):
 Well, I'd say that you should ask yourself how you'd feel if your spouse did the exact same thing in the same situation instead of you.
I know that all marriages are different and have different mutually agreed upon boundaries. I can tell you what my thoughts are on this.
Personally, I'd be fine if my husband went out with a group of people after work that included female co-workers, married or otherwise. If they came to a work party without their spouse and chatted with my husband, I wouldn't mind as long as it was a public place and they didn't slip off just the two of them.
I would not be okay with my husband going out with just the married co-worker by herself after work. I feel ambivalent about my husband and a married woman having lunch during work. If they were running a project together and having a power lunch downtown so they could work through it, I'd be fine with it and consider it a show of trust with my husband. Would I watch him for behavioral changes if it turned out not to be a one or two time thing? Of course.
I think that being "good friends" with someone is a different issue altogether. The litmus test here is - would I have the same conversations with this person in front of my spouse? I think making a deep emotional connection with someone of the opposite sex apart from your spouse treads on hazardous ground and opens the door for an affair, emotional or otherwise. However, being casual buddies in a group setting is nothing to worry about in my opinion. Again, the question one should ask themself is "How would I feel if my spouse had the same thoughts, feelings, and relationship with another person as I have or want with (fill in the co-worker's name)?"
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2010): I'm a Human Resources Director.
Grounds for termination are when it is a Management-Subordinate relation, whether or not the involved parties work within or outside a given department.
Stringent rules and consequences support this policy to protect against damages to the entity as a result of conflicts of interests.
Business is an industry regulated and governed by higher administrative authorities for the protection of investors, trade, etc. Codes of Professional Conduct are strictly enforced to uphold sound, practical business decisions made objectively, free of subjectivity and bias brought in by way of personal agendas.
Termination is mandated in this instance. Warnings are not a consequence.
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A
female
reader, followtheblackrabbit  +, writes (20 December 2010):
 Co-worker relationships can be complicated enough, but married co-workers...more so. If the co-worker is of the opposite sex, rumors may go around the workplace that an affair is going on and you, as the woman, will especially be frowned upon. If you're going to hang out and be friends, I suggest it be a group thing. Invite other people, wife included or your boyfriend if you have one. Going to bars together...I would not reccomend it. Again, if you two look too friendly, people can and will talk even if the friendship is completly innocent. My advice would be to keep a friendly relationship with the appropriate distances.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2010): if its just a friend thing then it shouldnt be a problem as long as their spouse knows and it doesnt get romantic....unless thats what you want people are alowed to have friends male or female
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2010): if its just a friend thing then it shouldnt be a problem as long as their spouse knows and it doesnt get romantic....unless thats what you want
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2010): Well.. some times that kind of "friends" bring to us some "problems" too...don't forget they are your co-workers..and is better keep the things separated.
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