A
female
age
30-35,
*lvy
writes:I'm 17, 18 in a few months, I have been talking to this guy in Washington since around April, he is 20. Anyway he wants me to come over to see him, hes in college and drinks a lot he says, my life is pretty bad at home right now and I see it as the only way out, even though I would have to come back, I need a break from here badly!But the real problem is he just seems to want me over there to have fun, and I think he means sex? I don't want to come back home after a few weeks with no money, having spent it all on flights etc, should he be the one who pays..?I asked him will I bring someone with me and he was like no, I mean hes a college guy, i know its pretty safe, but is he using me? Thanks.
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female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (7 September 2010):
 You are going to fly from Ireland to Washington to visit a guy you've never met and who has made it abundantly clear he's looking for sex and says don't bring a witness? Jeez Louise! If you decide to ignore the excellent advice and go anyway, don't forget to pack your filmiest nightgown and bring a candlestick.
A
female
reader, bebe87 +, writes (7 September 2010):
 Ohhhh my.... Do not go! It MIGHT be a little different if he lived in the same town as you, BUT in a whole different state? And him not wanting you to bring a friend?!?! Stay away, this sounds like a horror movie, just waiting for something really bad to happen. Unfortunately I know you want to go and have fun and all, and I am sorry to hear there is some issues going on at home, but above and beyond all your safety is and should be most important. You are still so young and you have your whole life ahead of you. Try to get out with your friends and put this guy and this trip on the back burner and REALLY think about it, talk to your friends, see what they have to say about it. And I am pretty sure after you take time to come to a conclusion you will see what is best for you! Take care and good luck with all!
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (7 September 2010):
 Your right. He wants sex. That's what I feel he'd see that you are delivering. What are you looking for in a guy. If it's sex and partying, this guy sounds like the right one. If you're looking for more, it'd be a gamble if this guy would be the one for you. I don't think that if you want more, you should visit without knowing what his intent is. No matter who spends the money, I don't want to hear you visited and got hurt because what he wanted was different than what you thought he did. Take this one slow, and make sure it's right for you.
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A
male
reader, gigolojone  +, writes (7 September 2010):
 I think he has given you all the signals that he wants you for only one thing so you better think twice before catching that flight to Washington.
Even if he offers to pay for your flights,that is not going to take away the problems you are having at home and in addition to that,you are going to gain nothing emotionally.
Try to avoid doing something that you might regret for the rest of your life.
Feeling like getting away from all the stress in your home,i would suggest you go visit a girlfriend or a relative of yours,one that you know can be there for you and will not mislead you.
You are a very special young lady,more precious than a college boy aged only 20,more precious than a flight ticket to Washington.
Also remember ,there is a fighter inside us,don't be weak and don't let yourself get used even if you are going to make 18.
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