A
male
age
16-17,
skelligon
writes:First things first, I'm not gay nor do I have anything against them. I have very a feminine outlook on things and I am sexist to my own gender. When I tell girls this, I get the feeling that they think I'm saying it just to make them attracted to me or I'm just gay. This hasn't effected me much yet but I think it will in the future. Should I be honest or act more masculine about things? Reply to this Question |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Kimaxsi  +, writes (2 May 2008):
I'm a girl not a dude but I don't fit into those stereotypes for women either nor am I slutty or even traditionally attractive (really a bit odd looking if I do say so myself), I don't wear makeup, sexy clothes or any of that and I don't take crap. I am just me. I attract guys some who are not my type but mostly those who are, so if you are you no matter what you'll attract your type more often and you'll attract other genuine people who are tired of posers. At the height of my confidence I got asked out regularly (to the extent pretty popular girls actually asked me for advice and I am not shitting you for real, even I was shocked), so if you are you and confident in that you'll have no or little problems.
I agree with the others when they say you don't have to tell people who you are, let them have the pleasure of getting to know you and they'll figure it out, some people won't like you sure but others will.
I must have woken up with a barbed-wire fence shoved up my arse this morning I was right cranky :-P But I am done now
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 May 2008): It's important to be true to yourself, and not act like something you're not. Honesty is always the best policy, but keep masculine too if you can. Otherwise girls may like you, but be put off if they don't know you very well, and wonder if you could be gay. I'm not saying you act gay! Far from, I'm sure. I'm just trying to say that there is a happy balance of the two, and it's just finding it :]
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 May 2008): There is nothing wrong with being the way you are, but it is true what you say....girls are going to think you are giving them a pick up line and are generally attracted to the more masculine type. So don't offer this information. If she asks you a question pertaining to these issues or a situation happens to come up, tell your honest opinion and don't be afraid of what she will think. As she gets to know you, she will see that you are a man with a feminine side and she will love it!! Let her learn your ways instead of offering it to her. In the end, you want someone who is going to love you for you, and not for the dishonest man you are portraying.
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A
female
reader, Kimaxsi +, writes (2 May 2008):
The men who have responded all seem like pussies to me. Sorry guys but you are walking the line and doing what you are told b/c you haven't got the backbone to just be who you are. You are too scared of what society might think. When I was 12 I liked the guys they speak of and I got over it, from then on I only went for the nice boys and I've been married to a nice man for many years now.
Nowhere in this post did this guy say he suffered from confidence or self-esteem issues. I think he's tired of the stereotypes forced on him. It takes a big set of fucking balls to be yourself in this world, someone who can do that has confidence, the real kind. If he isn't assertive or standing up for himself, he can work on that but I don't see why he'd needs to become another person or play some silly fucking role. Confidence is NOT bragging, cocky, arrogant, boasting, strutting, aggressive shit males do just to look tough and hopefully score some bitches and mask their insecurities. The boy will get the ladies, maybe not the silly shallow trollops you guys are into but a real woman. Will he get less girls? Ya know its a possibility I won't deny that women are often attracted to bastards (but the girls who are come with a shit ton of baggage and will run off with all your money :-P), the girls he will get actually will like him for him. I don't see a guy confident enough to just be himself, regardless, as getting walked over my any woman or ignored either. My husband is a nice guy with confidence they exist. My sister-in-law is dating a nice guy as well and she's got some confidence, she's not a silly insecure twit, but a real woman.
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A
female
reader, lexilou + ♥, writes (2 May 2008):
 Dont make a big issue of it and you dont need to tell them this straight out just let them meet the real you and make up their own minds about what kind of guy you are x
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 May 2008): It sounds like your a submissive male. Thats why your resent your own gender, because your bottom of the pile. You probably lack assertiveness. You will find women will only be attracted to you in a friendship capacity. Like a gay friend that gets to hear all their relationship problems. I think its important for you to work on your assertiveness if you want viable relationships in the future. Few woman wants a shrinking violet.
Good luck.
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A
female
reader, Kimaxsi +, writes (2 May 2008):
Honesty is a great attribute, don't lose it. Be yourself, you do not need to act *masculine*. I think its time we all cast off the stereotypes and were just true to our natures. It is possible some girls might just think you are feeding them lines, but actions really do speak louder than words so if your words and actions match, they'll eventually see you for who you really are.
An add on never pretend to be anyone but yourself, if you put on an act not only are you depriving people the chance of meeting the real and wonderful you and deceiving them, which isn't right you are also going to surround yourself with people who don't like you for you, but for this fake you you are pretending to be. It takes so much energy to keep up an act too. When people accept you for who are and like you for who you are its a wonderful feeling, one you'll never experience if you start lying and being someone you're not.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 May 2008): Everyone will tell you to just be yourself. And that's good advice in the long run.
Your type has its fans, it's just usually gonna be a much smaller group than the masculine type though.
Hey, what is so wrong with masculinity anyway?
I hope you realize that most of the female gender is only TELLING guys to be more modernized & feminine. That doesn't mean the girls will actually want the guys like you when they come across one.
A lot of girls will thank you from the bottom of their hearts for being so much "better" than most guys. But they will go right on sleeping with the masculine guys instead of you anyway.
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