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Is his attitude to me just a phase?

Tagged as: Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (16 May 2017) 2 Answers - (Newest, 16 May 2017)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

This guy I did like told me he liked me. And then his whole personality changed in attempt to impress me. He agrees with everything I say and seems to say stuff to just try and impress me, almost like he's googled something to just make conversation. It's a real turn off it's like he's not his own person anymore. How can I explain this without upsetting him? Are these kinds guys good for relationships? I want someone who stands up to me if I'm out of line or has opinions on stuff. Is it just a stage because he wants to be with me? I've not had this before as usually I go for the guys who love themselves a bit too much.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (16 May 2017):

Honeypie agony auntI do think it's kind of a phase. Women do this too.

He wants you to like him, so he is trying to show you just how GREAT a "match" he is for you. You two even have the same opinion and taste in things!! (or at least that is what he wants you to believe).

To me though, this behavior shows a kind of immaturity and insecurity that I don't know if I'd like in a partner. If he thinks he (as he is) isn't "good enough" for you so he basically pretends to be someone else, I'd feel it's kind of "false advertising".

Though for many people this is not unusual behavior, in the beginning of a new acquaintance, friendship or relationship most people tend to be on their best behavior.

So just TAKE it slow. If the "real" him starts showing up and you DO NOT like that "version" feel free to end it. OR if you feel he is being "fake" maybe he isn't for you. I'd probably give him a chance to get to know me and know him.

As long as he isn't LYING about stuff to seem like a better catch, I'd say he is just REALLY into you.

As for usually going for guys who are all about themselves... well, I'd say this guy is a nice change of pace?

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A male reader, Denizen United Kingdom + , writes (16 May 2017):

Denizen agony auntWell I'm not sure your usual choice of guys is very healthy. Perhaps that is why you aren't with them now but that aside. This new man will probably revert to his normal frame of being. Water runs down hill doesn't it?

However how nice that he cares enough about you to go out of his way to please you. That should mean a lot. Be grateful!

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