A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i think maybe my bf is to controling in bed. wen we have sex he is always moving my body into positions and he dont ask me if stuff is okay. sometimes he pushs my head to his penis and then holds it there and then he thrusts. sometimes this hurts me. is this normal for guys to do this? sometimes i like it then after i feel like a slut. is this normal? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Yos  +, writes (18 November 2009):
 It might just be that he's been influenced a lot by porn. What you describe is 'normal' porn acting behaviour. It's just that porn and 'normal' sex don't really resemble each other very much.
In my experience, dominant and aggressive sex can be great from time to time, when you're both in the mood. But also very gentle tender sex can be great too. If it's all of one and none of the other then things can go wrong.
It's embarrassing to do, but having an open conversation with him about this, and how you feel, is the best thing to do. He may just think that's how men should be having sex (from watching porn), and he should be open to listening to what you want.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 November 2009): talk to him that is all what is needed... as the reply above you can try to talk to him while you not actually having sex.
however i think the best idea, is while u just started getting turned on, then you should in a sexy way tell him that its your turn to take control... and try that for once and show him that you like to have a say... that at least with out you saying a word if he used to belive what he is doing makes you happy and the way to have sex will at least change and make him think... and may be open the topic with him after, and speak to him about things in a nice way... it think that should do
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