A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Recently, workmen have descended on the flats where I live which are being refurbished and I have grown quite attracted to the manager in charge who works on-site. However, I'm really confused by his behaviour.Having requested a number of repairs to be done on my flat which have to go through my lettings agency to him so he can send the men out, every time I have done it, I have had to badger the agency over and over as he doesn't send people when he says he will. Nevertheless, when I see him he always takes time to talk to me (only about work that's going on on site, nothing personal). Once, I just casually asked how things were going in passing and he then, to my surprise, he took me on a tour of the flat that had just been done, going into great depth about each room and its improvements. I felt a bit embarrassed because three of the workmen were in there standing around and watching us and seeing as he knows I already live next door in a much larger flat which I like, it seemed a bit of a strange thing to do.On another occasion, after repeatedly contacting the agency, the Builder in charge finally sent two guys to do some repairs, one of whom accidentally broke my tall but heavy lamp. The young guy was sorry and quickly offered to throw it in the skip which was to arrive the next day which I accepted. However, when it arrived the young guy just knocked on my door and asked me to please move my car as it was in the way, and didn't ask about the lamp,The next day I came out of my flat and the Builder in charge happened to be hanging around outside with another workman. He basically said that the skip was for anyone to use and didn't just belong to them, so I assumed that he had told this guy not to pick my lamp up from my home, which was a bit unfair as I can't lift it myself.He then proceeded to stay and talk to me for about 15 or 20 minutes (again about stuff they were working on/improvements, the landlord, etc.) to the point where his workman walked off and left us. Even when his mobile phone rang, a signal for me I thought to leave him to his conversation, he let it ring for a while and it was only when I said ' I'll let you take this call' that he did and I left.I'm still waiting for him to send people to finish the job off in my flat as he said he would knock on my door and let me know a good time. Everytime I see him he says 'hello' or stops to talk and for a while and is in no hurry to get away considering he is so busy and his workmen are too busy to get round to doing my repairs. So my question is, what is going on with this guy? Is he just chatting with me because he's interested, bored or playing control games when he is avoiding getting my repairs done! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, YouWish  +, writes (15 December 2013):
 Sometimes, single (and simple) minded people need reminding more than once to do things. I don't think it was a conscious desire to avoid you or get out of doing work. I think that they're simply unable to multitask to a fault, and basically not scheduling what you need to do into their game plan.
You have to speak up, over and over and over and not assume anything. Follow up, and then follow, like the alarm clock that wakes you up continuously going off until you shut it off and wake up. I know it's not your job, and it sucks that you have to resort to it when the way it should be is that they follow up when you have issues, but there are people who simply need to be followed up on.
I would keep calling and asking "What's the ETA on getting my lamp fixed or repairs done?" But of course, I'm not afraid to use their annoyance as a way to get me to shut up when I need something done.
As for being chatty, some guys are simply shmoozers. They make small talk, and when you're there, it just happens. It goes along with the inability to multitask their time and multiple demands. Don't chat, just start and end every conversation with "I have to get this done. We spoke about when this would be taken care of, so when can I expect...".
If the lamp is expensive and the repairs, I'd recommend making requests in writing to document your requests. In some cases here in the US, you can actually place your rent in escrow in order to ensure your repairs are addressed and completed before they are paid by you.
Read your lease and the UK tenant rights laws about what you can do. But bottom line, be the squeaky wheel. You're the tenant. Don't let their disorganization and pushing aside the small tasks leave you wringing their hands. Be the painful splinter in their foot that won't go away until they make you whole.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 December 2013): "Your" flirting cancelled out professionalism. You looked foolish to the workman; making it obvious to everyone you had a crush, when you should have kept things businesslike until the work was done.Now you're at the bottom of the list. Your complaining will just be written-off as some lonely woman trying to bring attention to herself. You didn't think did you?Now you'll have to climb your way back to your fair spot on the list; and file a claim for your damaged property. They are buying time to lessen their liability; and playing on your lack of focus on the business at hand. They didn't send out workmen to keep you company. They're there to do the work.It's absolutely irritating how condescending they are; and blatantly going out of their way to take advantage of your slip in judgement. Now it's time to show them the side of you that they deserve. Time for bitch-mode. Get on the phone get management to get that work completed. Don't let go until every last nail is hammered and every screw is turned. Get that lamp replaced. Get on the phone and speak only to those in authority above the contract manager's head. Show your face only when you need to discuss something regarding the repairs. If you're lonely, get out more and seek companionship in appropriate places. He is full of bullsh*t; and showing the other knuckleheads how to charm the ladies. Show him how not to take you for a fool.
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (15 December 2013):
 When you are having these conversations with him, why do you not ask him when the repairs will be done or ask why it's taking so long to get round to your repairs?
Also, if one of his workmen broke something in your flat, he should pay for it.
I don't think he is flirting with you at all. I think he is distracting you because, perhaps he doesn't have the time or the men available to do your repairs.
What are your letting agency saying? Are they making enquires?
I think you are over thinking the situation and confusing your attraction with whats actually going on. Are you being flirtatious? because that might be putting him off??
As for the lamp, take the broken pieces a bit at a time and dump them in the skip.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 December 2013): Lately I always ask myself about people motivations when they are nice to me, like REALLY nice to me. Ask yourself what is this guy doing chatting you up. First he could be just an idle chatter box, who would lots of chatting instead of working. Second, he has on a back of his mind to get in your pants eventually, but one of those lazy types who would do nothing but chatting. The fact that he disregarded you when the young worker broke your lamp, it's an obvious fact he doesn't give a damn about you, and in general inconsiderate man. I think you need to tell him that his employee broke it and you expect them to replace it or pay you the cost, and also they need to dispose of it. Speak up!!Second of all, you need to tell him that you are not satisfied with the way your requests are disgarded. Tell him that you expect a service, or you will complain, and see how he will continue to be nice with you.
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