A
female
age
30-35,
*icky2727
writes:So last night I was with this guy that I've been seeing for a little over 2 months and Ive been wondering what we are exactly but I've been too scared to bring up the "what are we" talk so I've been keeping quiet. Well we finished having sex and we laid there and had our chit chats like usual. I was actually on my period when we had sex this time and I was worried about the potential mess and he said: trust me I've seen way worse. Right after he said that i asked him to tell me the story because it sounded like it could be funny..(I don't mind ex gf stories.. It's in the past so I never care). He started laughing and said that he didn't want to tell me stories about his past sexual experiences because he's my boyfriend. As soon as he said that I was in shock and couldn't believe he titled himself as my boyfriend. It's what I've wanted but does this mean we're official now? Is there any need to have the talk? Do you think he accidentally let that slip?
View related questions:
ex girlfriend, period Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (12 June 2012):
 I don't understand why it is problematic to just ask him. Being direct and honest with each other is a much better foundation for a relationship, than a relationship founded on one person running and asking complete strangers what they think.
What if I told you: no, he's just using you for sex. By your description he could be. You have sex, you're not official, haven't had the talk. He obviously compared you to someone else by "having seen worse", and for the record, having "seen worse" still means that what he's currently seeing is bad as well.
Are you going to hang on my words then? Are you going to feel awful and break it off with him?
Or, maybe you should do the only thing you ought to do, which is ask HIM what sort of relationship you have, and trust your own gut feeling about him.
Who are we, strangers online, to judge your relationship or interpret the words of a man we've never met? We can't. And you can't really take anything we say to heart, or trust in it either. Which is why it is so important that you stop putting high value on what everyone else thinks, and start trusting your own instincts or better yet: talk to the man and ask him yourself.
A
male
reader, how222 +, writes (12 June 2012):
 maybe he was wondering and he said it?You got to ask him, if you are ready for that?
...............................
A
female
reader, sweet_lover101  +, writes (12 June 2012):
 It doesn't hurt just to specify. Who knows, maybe he is wondering the same thing as you do!
...............................
A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (12 June 2012):
 I think so. You are both wondering about the "what we are" at the same time. I wouldn't say it's a need to clarify but you can definitely express your joy to him because you also like him a lot, and would like to see where this leads. This relationship is very new so a verbal confirmation is not going to stop you from wondering. Your shock reaction means that it's moving fast for you. You didn't expect to be boyfriends girlfriends at 2 months. You just want to know there is a direction to it, a common path. It's official when you feel like he is the one.
...............................
|
