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Is he not as attracted to me anymore?

Tagged as: Dating, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (15 February 2012) 3 Answers - (Newest, 16 February 2012)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Hello everyone,

I'm worried about my bf not being sexually interested in me. We have been together for about a year and a half, and we live together. We used to have sex a lot and it was wonderful, we were both each other's firsts. Of course it started out clumsy, but it got much better with time.

Lately he has not seemed very interested in sex, and when we do have sex sometimes he can't reach orgasm. We used to have sex 5-7 times a week, sometimes twice a day! Now its more like 2 or maybe 3 times if I'm lucky. I have an admittedly higher sex drive than him, but I'm still concerned about the decrease in interest.

I very kindly asked him if he had been watching a lot of porn lately (we are open about this), and he said no. He said he's just tired, but he doesn't have any more of a busy life than he did before! I'm kind of worried because I have gained some weight recently do to a thyroid issue despite dieting and exercise.

This guy is amazing and I am so in love with him. I am incredibly attracted to him and we plan on getting married. Does anyone think that he isn't attracted to me as much anymore? Do you think there is something else going on? Thanks for reading.

View related questions: orgasm, porn, sex drive

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A female reader, pyrexqueen United States +, writes (16 February 2012):

After the thrill of getting what they want, some guys are just not interested in sex as much. What's his behavior like apart from sex? Does he still kiss you when he sees you with the same enthusiasm? Does he tell you he loves you? I'm married and my husband and I go up and down in terms of sex. Sometimes we have a lot of a sex, other times we've spent like a month without it.

If it becomes a routine for him, it might be tiring, but it doesn't mean he's not attracted to you anymore.

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A male reader, Sageoldguy1465 United States +, writes (15 February 2012):

Sageoldguy1465 agony auntat 18-21 (your ages.... ) having sexual difficulties is NOT something that you want to give little concern.... because,.... statistically, the two of you are likely to be around another 60 years or more..... and if you (two) DON'T find your sexual compatibility then one of you (the one with the lower sex drive) is going to get awfully frustrated.... and the ultimate result is a split....

Better to discuss things now... and, if that split is inevitable, make it now and avoid all the angst and heartbreak that years of sexual incompatibility brings with it....

Good luck...

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (15 February 2012):

So_Very_Confused agony auntsex two or three times a week for a couple that lives together is fairly high in my opinion....

we were an LDR couple the first almost year of our relationship and we went at it every chance we got...

now that we are in the same house full time, I can't remember the last time we had sex... it's been a couple of weeks... we have affection and cuddles but not sex... I asked him last night if we were ok and he said yes we just got in a rut... and I am tired a lot because I work full time and run the home.

I've gained some weight but my man likes it... most men actually seem to prefer women with a bit of weight on them... gives us soft smushy spots for them to land...

I think you are just settling down to the real life of day to day living.

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