A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:i 'met' a guy just before christmas (he sent me a message on fb, he thought he had gone to school with me as we have a few mutual friends) he read my page and saw that i was having a hard time....my mum has recently died so christmas was a nightmare!....on christmas eve he called and said santa had been round, i opened my front door and there was a huge poinsietta plant and some gifts. they were just wine nothing too personnal (stil lovely though!)the tuesday after christmas we met for a drink and the evening went really well. we have had a few dates since and have had sex (which was lovely!) but he seems to blow hot and cold. we were sposed to be seeing each other the other friday but he messaged me at 5.10 saying he was stuck in liverpool and couldnt make it then called me at 5.30 from london! he claims the message he sent was from ages ago but the message had the time on it. either way i didnt see him that evening and i dont know why.then he messaged me and asked if i was busy monday, i said i wasnt then heard no more. then he messaged late on monday and asked if i was gona be online, i said i would be now and we chatted for a bit....it got a bit saucy! then he and another aquaintance started commenting on my status having a laugh....largly at my expense! then he stopped talking on chat and i have a feeling he was chatting to the aquaintance he was joking with on my status....then he just went off line, no goodbye to me or anything. now he wants to come over wednesday night and stay the night, this is the first time i will have had a man stay over (i have 2 kids) and i dont know what to do. the thought of having a man to cuddle up to all night is lovely, but i dont want this guy seeing my kids if he is messing me around. am i being paranoid? or expecting too much too soon? i have been very hurt so trusting is hard for me, and i can be suspicious. how do you view whats going on here?
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (11 January 2011):
 This has written casual sex a.k.a.booty call all over it.
Now, moms too are sexual beings and they are entitled to live their sexuality and sensuality and to appreciate a lovely all-night cuddle, but their kids generally have a hard time grasping that, and I am not sure they should even grasp it.
Don't make a man stay the night at your place and do not introduce him to your kids - unless you are sure he's gonna come back the night after, and the night after again etc.
A
female
reader, swiftone  +, writes (11 January 2011):
Liverpool then London - this would mean major alarm bells for me, be very careful with this guy, I wouldnt trust him yet. I wouldnt let him stay at your house, get him to take you out on a date so you can know each other better.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 January 2011): He does seem to be a bit unreliable. I would definately not have him to stay the night yet. He needs to prove himself worthy of your affections. And you do not want your children seeing a man coming and going at night, no way. Let him know you would like to date in a regular way and you are not up for some casual ongoing liason. You risk being used for casual sex (there is a chance that if casual sex is not on the menu you won't see him for dust). You are right to be wary. You are a mature woman with children and I bet you want a bit more for yourself - to be treated well and with respect. And rightly so.
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