A
female
age
26-29,
Lunaazul
writes:Hello there! I've been seeing this guy by now 4 times in three months and talking on the phone many times. The last time we spent together was last saturday from 9:30am till 11:30pm. He wanted me to go to his place and meet his cats, after he showed me his whole apartment, we went to a festival where we ate and danced and then we went to his friend's house to play poker. At night, we hugged each other and kissed and before saying goodbye, he said he definitely wanted to see me again. Now, the thing is that he said after our second date that he wanted to date me and others at the same time. I was reluctant at first but then accepted. Yesterday I sent him a mail saying that "He's becoming a very important person in my life and that I feel such a joy when I think about him, and that if my feelings were wrong - that I'm sure he would let me know", then I got a mail from him saying that "since he enjoyed his time with me last Saturday, he realized he's interested in dating just me now. That it's still early to know where all this will lead, but he's just enjoying the time spent with me and wants to continue getting to know me." But the other day I saw him on a different dating site where he's registered and active and he hasn't told me anything about it, I just found that out by myself. Is he playing with me? Is he being honest and true about me and the possibility of a relationship between us? What does all this thing that happened last Saturday meant to him? Please, help me with your suggestions about what to do. I'm very inexperienced in these things, so please any comment would be appreciated.(By the way, there's 10 years difference between us). Reply to this Question |
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female
reader, DiovanLestat  +, writes (22 May 2008):
 Sounds to me that he would like to date you, but he would also might want to date other women too. He's keeping his options open just in case you don't get on or someone he likes better comes alone. You should follow his example and do the same.
I think it's too early for him to committ to an exclusive relationship with you at the moment but he's aware that his feelings for you could develop into something else, so he's intrested in spending time with you.
A
female
reader, Ask oldersister +, writes (22 May 2008):
 He means it if he takes you out on dates, yes. He doesn't mean it if all he wants to do is hangout as his or your place and make out/have sex. This is how you will know if he is interested in you. He will ask you out in advance and ask a lot of questions about you. He will want you to meet his friends and be seen with you in public. I would see if he does any of these things and you wait to have sex with him until he does AND tells you he wants to see you exclusively.
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A
female
reader, Lunaazul +, writes (22 May 2008):
Lunaazul is verified as being by the original poster of the questionSo when he says "he's interested in dating just me now", he couldn't really mean it? Why does he want to see me if he's gonna waste his time with someone he's not that into? or he just wants to spend time with me because somehow he realized I like him? Should I upfront wiht him and ask himwhat is it what he really wants? Btw, Thanks for your suggestions.
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A
female
reader, Ask oldersister +, writes (21 May 2008):
Yes, he's being honest that he is just wanting to "date" you which does not mean he wants to be your boyfriend. This is why he is on internet sites, he is interested in dating different women. You've only seen him 4x and he is right that it is too early for him to decide. He wants to continue leaving his options open until he finds someone he wants to date exclusively- that's the most positive way of putting it. It could be that he never intends to settle down and wants to continue to play the field. At least he's being upfront with you. I think he had a fun time on Saturday with you and wants to continue seeing you but that doesn't mean he wants to be with only you. If it were me, I wouldn't do anything with him physically and get to know him and find out what his long term goals are. Don't get emotionally involved yet, don't talk to him so much on the phone, let him take you out on "dates" like going to dinner and movies instead of hanging out at his apartment- don't do that anymore. He was the one that said he wants to date, right? Well, let him take you out on dates.
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A
female
reader, sammylove +, writes (21 May 2008):
Well if he's on another dating site confront him about it.
He's active so he I'm sorry to say isn't very interested yet.
The best you can do is talk to him and ask where it is going. Also get out there yourself and start dating again unless it is actually going somewhere.
Hope this helps and good luck =].
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