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Is he a player or not?

Tagged as: Dating, Friends, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (9 November 2008) 1 Answers - (Newest, 9 November 2008)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Hi everone! This guy and I were "together" for a couple of months but didnt go out cause he told me he was too busy with school and work. I said that I wasnt going to do it anymore without a proper relationship and he asked me to be his girfriend. We only went out for a week before he told me that his grades were too low. He said its not like he doesnt want to be my boyfriend, its just that he needs to improve them to get into law school. He kept saying that he doesnt want to lose me and begged me not to go. He said that he gets attached to the people he sleeps with and that we should still be friends and hang out. I told him that it would be really hard for me and its not like we were great friends before and he got upset cause I guess he thought we were.He told me that if someone hurts me or if I ever need him, he will always be there for me.

We have so much in common and he always tells me how much he likes talking to me and that im really "cool" and "awesome" He calls me about once a week just to say hi and see how everything is going. I really miss him but I dont know if he is being sincere or if he just wants to get in my pants again. He knows that I wont sleep with him anymore and since he was my first, I still want to be friends with him. Is he being honest about wanting to stay as JUST friends?

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A female reader, that_one_female United States +, writes (9 November 2008):

that_one_female agony auntFirst things first. You gave him your virginity when you two weren't officially boy-friend & girl-friend?? OUCH.. not to be rude but there should have been more sence there. Second, if he's so worried about having a relationship and good grades at the same time, he currently isn't mentally strong for both, && since school is in the middle of this whole problem, let him think about is it even worth it? If he's so stressed out because he can't get good grades with you as his lady, then let him finish school and worry about your relationship later, Just don't wait too long, there's someone out there for everyone. && since he's your first i think it's a good idea to stay in contact with him. If he really wanted you in his life he would try to make an effort of having good grades and having a lady too, at the same time. This looks like he's blaming you for his poor grades, not himself. But then again it looks like he really just wants to be friends. If anything, try to see someone else during this whole situation of him rising his grades.

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