A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I am a better than average looking women who is nice and fun and have many friends. My current boyfriend gets upset when they say hello even though I introduce him. I feel his jealousy is way over the edge. He even got upset at dinner with my mother because I took 3 minutes too long to sit down because I sad hello to an old friend. Do you think this is a control freak who will only get worse or a commitment phobe. He is 52 - only married in his 20s for 2 years. His cousin says he is sooo tough. Time for me to go? Never experienced this behavior. He creates a roller coaster over nothing. But for some reason I love him. I asked him to go to therapy for anger management. He has a good heart but is overemotional the longer he thinks about a minor incident the more he creates in his mind. and I get blamed and hurt I think I have to just walk Help
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male
reader, PeterPan +, writes (26 February 2009):
 In my mind, he's definitely a jealous control freak... commitment has little to do with anything you relayed here.
From the wonderful world of Wikipedia:
"Jealousy typically refers to the negative thoughts and feelings of insecurity, fear, and anxiety that occur when a person believes a valued relationship is being threatened by a rival."
(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jealousy)
Here's my read on all this... your friends are a threat to him and his relationship with you... perhaps his desire to control you, your time and eventually even your friends. It's probably a refection of his own abilities to maintain an adult relationship or give (and receive) trust. In my opinion, it's not going to get better with time. Also, I don't think that anger management is going to help him overcome the threat of your social circle gives him.
Good luck, but in my opinion, it's time to move on.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 February 2009): This is an easy one to answer---leave. Leave him now. People with anger and controlling problems like that will not change easily, and it takes A LONG time when they do. I know this because I have some of the same problems. You will only get hurt in the end. Leave now while you can. You leaving may make him realize how he is and get help.
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