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Is dating him worth the challenge?

Tagged as: Dating, Family<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (3 June 2013) 4 Answers - (Newest, 3 June 2013)
A female United States age 30-35, *elissa1525 writes:

I'm getting to know this guy, and we are getting along well. I like the fact that he is mature and romantic. But I feel that maybe things might not work out, since he is a divirced dad that has full custody of his 3 year old and I'm 19 and he is 28. I really don't mind because I've always loved kids, but realistically speaking could this be a problem.

Thanks

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A male reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (3 June 2013):

olderthandirt agony auntYeah, it could be a problem so could an earthquake. You need to do one thing; Calculate your ages when the 3 year old graduates high school and wonder aloud to each other will it have been worth it at that time. Life is a series of challenges but at the end of it al. It will have been worth it if you left a positive impact on someone's life. Then to the lip of this earthen ern,i learned the secret of life to learn,drink for once dead you never shall return.(the Rubiat).

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (3 June 2013):

So_Very_Confused agony auntso you like him

he likes you

he has full custody of a small child and

BECAUSE things MIGHT not go well, you are thinking of ending it even though you don't mind that he's divorced, with a small child that he has custody of.

Honey my husband could get hit by a bus this afternoon and leave me a widow... that does not mean I'm not going to give it 100% to see if it works.

At 19 more than likely what will happen in a few years is you will realize you no longer want the lifestyle he's offering (home every night, trying to find a sitter for when you want to go out, weekends are for chores, and cleaning and laundry)...

but if you like him, if he likes you, and you are both behaving properly like adults, I see no reason not to give it a try. Just be prepared for it to not work out happily ever after due to multiple complications.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (3 June 2013):

Well, I don't think there will be a problem unless he asks you to babysit. He is nine years older and it is likely he'll move on. You see, at some point he is going to need to provide a mother for his child; and he is going to want to settle down.

The child deserves a stable environment and nurturing. Kids do well within a single-parent household; and even better when they have two parents. Even if they are of the same sex.

You lack the maturity level and experience to take on a marriage and ready-made family. It may sound easy, but you will see it differently if you actually have to assume the role.

You deserve a chance to get an education and choose your own profession. You're not ready to stay at home and take care of a child. So your relationship is fine as long as it remains fun and you're not expecting anything more.

You may think you can do it all, ask a mom who had to work, go to school, and raise a family. The demands of all three would be overwhelming.

You're just caught up in the idea of being with an older man. It makes you feel mature and ahead of your peers. You can't order alcohol or enter a club without being carded.

So he is limited to only doing things appropriate for your age.

Enjoy it while you can.

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A male reader, Sageoldguy1465 United States +, writes (3 June 2013):

Sageoldguy1465 agony auntIt certainly has the potential to be a problem.... BUT, needn't be fatal to a relationship. You and he will have to decide that.....

Good luck....

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