A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm a virgin and have been with my boyfriend for 6 months now. I'm 18 and I've never had sex before so I'm kinda nervous but we both feel ready to do it. I've heard it hurts when you have sex as the hymen tears but my boyfriend has fingered me several times before so will it hurt less when we have sex? Is being fingered even anything like sex?
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 March 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhey thanks for all your help guys, its been really useful.im sorry i havent replied earlier.x.x.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2009): This may sound strange, but do you use tampons? When my boyfriend and I decided to start having sex, I made a gyno appointment at my university in order to get on the pill. The woman I saw was a fantastic RN, who not only examined me and prescribed the pill, but spent a good half hour - forty-five minutes discussing additional birth control options, side affects, sexual health and what to expect the first time. I was concerned it would hurt too, but she pointed out that having used tampons for several years might actually make it easier. (For the record I didn't feel any pain.) She also recommended lube.
The main thing is to share any concerns with the boyfriend, so he knows to take it slowly and to be gentle. I'm assuming you guys have a level of trust, respect and love since you are taking this step and he'll live up to it. It was not my boyfriend's first time, but I think he was more nervous that I would be hurt than I was.
My other piece of advice is to take it slow afterward. Again this is weird, but when I started to hurt was over the next few days - not to be crass, but a lot of sex in a short period of time can make you pretty sore...
Good Luck!
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A
female
reader, jessica04  +, writes (5 March 2009):
 It's different for every woman losing her virginity. For me, it didn't hurt at all. For my friend, it hurt the first few times she had sex.
Just go slow and relax. If you aren't relaxed, then yes, it can be quite uncomfortable. Make sure he spends his time getting you calm and into the mood. You might also want to have some lube on hand in case you are too nervous to really produce your own.
Being fingered is not the same feeling as sex. Having a penis in you creates this wonderful pressure throughout the vagina. Fingering is still nice though because he can better stimulate your clitoris and your G-spot. They're both fantastic, but I prefer sex.
Have fun, and as always, use a condom.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2009): Well i will say that when my friend and her boyfriend had sex for the first time and she was scard for the same resons. After the fact when it happened she told me that it did hurt a little but after a they started she said it was worth a little bit of pain. To tell you that when i did it i had not pain at all.
hope you have the best of luck
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