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Is a friend's ex really off limits forever?

Tagged as: Dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (27 October 2013) 5 Answers - (Newest, 28 October 2013)
A male Nigeria age 36-40, *ossy writes:

I'll just go straight to the question. What is so wrong in dating my friend's ex-girlfriend. I mean they are no longer together for 2years now. We both want to go for it,i can bet on that but its just as if we should never cross. She has been my best female friend since then,but the fact that everyone sees it as a bad idea is really eating me up. Is a friend's ex really a forbidden fruit.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (28 October 2013):

Honeypie agony auntI would ask him as well, not that you need HIS blessing, but who knows maybe he moved on and found himself someone new too?

Personally, friend's ex's are a no-no.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (28 October 2013):

Honestly...I'm going to go with yes, she's off limits.

As a woman, I would never date a man one of my friends had been with. It's just a setup for an uncomfortable situation. Especially if they slept together!

I think people are good at acting like things don't bother them, or thinking something won't bother them, but then it does.

If you really want to go for it, talk to your friend first.

I imagine if you start dating his ex, you won't stay friends for long. But that's just my opinion.

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A male reader, brott Canada +, writes (28 October 2013):

brott agony auntRegardless of whether you friend says he's OK with it, chances are he is not. He might not even realize that it will bother him, but it probably will. If you decide to go out with his ex, the result may be straining or breaking your friendship. Decide accordingly and be prepared.

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A male reader, C. Grant Canada +, writes (28 October 2013):

C. Grant agony auntAsk your friend if he's OK with it. If he says he is, then go for it. If he says no, then you have to choose between him and her.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (27 October 2013):

How does the friend feel about his ex? How does the ex feel about your friend? Will they get along well when they see eachother? Hating eachother is just as bad (or worse!) than one person still liking the other person! If they are friends with no romantic feelings (I have friends like that, they're happily married or engaged), then it's probably OK. It has been awhile but you still want to consider the feelings of your friend and the girl. Also, ask the people you know why it's a bad idea (it probably has to do with something the ex "did" to piss off or hurt your friend). I hope you get an answer from them and that you are not walking into a relationship that went bad for a reason.

Nickole

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